about

My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.

I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.

I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.

People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.

Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.

I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college

advice

My parents are fighting. They are not considering a divorce but one in a while they just go at each other. It's really sad and since i am the oldest i want to do something about it. My little sisters get sad and cry when they fight and i want to help them. What can i do to make them realize what they are doing wrong? They both blame each other for things but truthfully it is always equally both their fault! I really need some good advice. Please don't give me the "talk to them" answer because right know i don't want to start anything else. Please help me. I really want to fix this becuase everytime they fight it bring up all these past things from like 15 years ago! Who cares about those things! Please help me. (sorry if this is long, i just feel very unstable and sad right now).

You know I went through the same thing with my parents. When I was younger and they fought, they just brushed me off and told me to never mind. All I wanted was to help them and they just pushed me away. Now that I am older, they respect my opinion a lot more. While they still fight A LOT, I know that if I am home I can sort of be the peace keeper.

When your parents fight, you should try to get out of the house. Take your little sisters to the park. Bring some books and things to play with and don't come back until the three of you feel a little better.

You personally cannot stop the two of them fighting. They may need professional help. If they haven't realized that their arguments are affecting you and your sisters by now, they are not going to. Talk to your school counselor (or better yet another family member you trust) about all this. I'm sure they can help in some way.

If you aren't comfortable doing that, try to catch your parents on a day when things are calm and they aren't fighting. Pull them aside and TALK. I know that sounds scary and you think it will start things, but it may be the only way to get them to listen! Tell them all your concerns. Tell them you're worried about your sisters. Tell them how upset YOU are. You don't have to accuse them of doing wrong or anything, but you can point out to them how much their arguments are hurting the family. Just try to stay calm, have a cry if you need to, and open up to them.

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(Rating: 5) thanks for your advice
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