about

My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.

I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.

I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.

People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.

Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.

I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college

advice

I met this guy two months ago and he's searious about me, but I'm not sure if us in a relationship would work. The first problem is that I could never get myself to commit to anyone. He could be the best person I have ever known. We have great conversations (mostly about sports), he respects me completely, we practically have the same mind in most cases, and I feel like he's the only one that I could talk to about things no one else seems to understand about me. He's always there when I need him. As you can tell, this guy is great. So what is wrong?

The second thing about us is the distance thing. Yes, he's there for me when I want to talk, but we're still in two different places. He lives in NY and I live in Boston. At first it didn't get to me much because that's what drew us closer in a way. Our first conversation lasted hours about new york and boston sports teams. We were both very competitive, but loved it. I never laughed so much. Maybe this distance thing isn't bad for most people, but I'm not one of them. Neither of us plan on leaving our hometowns. It's our homes. And this thing we have hasn't gone long enough to even think so far down the line, but it's starting to bug me because we never see each other. Am I just finding excuses or is "relationship" just not good? Of course we're young, but I am at a loss because I really want this to work.

*18/f

Maybe an open relationship would work. There's no reason not to keep in touch with the guy, especially since you two get on so well. A halfway point seems like a good solution at this point. There's no hiding that the distance is bothering you. Maybe both of you could casually date other people just to see what's out there.

Be honest with him. If he is serious about you, but you don't feel the same way, you need to tell him. You don't have to put him out of your life forever, you're just not into committing at the moment.

It's only been two months. You might meet someone else that actually lives in your area that makes you happier. And if you don't find anyone else, then you'll know you still have him there.

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(Rating: 5) This advice was actually helpful. I thought about an open relationship with this guy and it is being considered amongst us. It's still difficult because there is no one else to even hold up to him and that makes it harder. Also, he's told me before this, "it's not going to easy to find a girl with your personlity." Whether that wasn't what he really felt or what, I feel the same about him. In any case, I appreciate the advice. Thanx.
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