I'm not here to tell you what to think or do, but to give you as much honest, accurate information as possible. If I don't know an answer to a specific question, I'll research it before replying. I won't sugarcoat things; my job is to tell it like it is.
I've got a particular interest in sexual health and sexuality. I know a lot about fertility and pregnancy - and firsthand now, as I've just had twins. I'm also an accredited sexual health worker.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Counsellor, writer, mother of twins.
Age: 31
Member Since: August 9, 2004
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i am 14 and i am a guy amd i dont get along with my dad and he doesnt seem to want to do anything with me. He always does things with my younger brother and when ever i am interested in somthing he is not instead of supporting it and making me feel good he just shoots it down and makes fun of me and tells me how stupid it is. I have tried to get alaong with him but he doesnt try. I dont know what to do and what are some father son things we can do or try at least to make up for lost time. I have not done anything with him in 14 years. I love cars love them and know almosteverything there is to know about them. I asked him to go to a car show with me and he told me no that is not his thing. I had to ask my grandpa instead and even though the cars they were showng werent his thing he still went. Je probably thinks i will fail in life and je never is proud an anything i do. Where should i start to improve the relationship i want to have with him (link)
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Well, unfortunately, relationships take two people. You sound really dedicated to trying to build a good one with your dad, but it sounds like he might not be as proactive as you.
Have you ever tried talking with him about this? Maybe he doesn't realise that the things he says, or the activities he skips, really bother you. He could have all sorts of assumptions about teenage boys - and he might spend more time with your brother because he thinks a kid would need time more than a teenager.
If you don't feel comfortable talking to him about this, maybe you could work it in casually the next time you want to do something. Such as - 'Hey, Dad, do you want to ____________ together this weekend? It would be nice to do something with you.'
Keep up with variations of this theme, and hopefully he'll get the hint. You may also consider talking to other adult family members to see what they suggest, or to ask them to talk to your dad for you.
Also, take some time to realise all the good points about you. Your dad may not be paying attention, and that's a downer, but even if he puts you down it does not mean you are no good. You sound like a great guy, and it's a shame your father isn't seeing it at the moment.
I wish you the best.
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Rating: 4
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actually gave a good idea for my question.
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