about

my names amanda im 17 years old & i like to help people out (:

advice

15/f

umm so ive been trying to be nicer to people lately, and ive been speaking my mind a lot more recently. however, even though i like the fact that i speak my mind, i dont like the part about how ive been nicer to people. i know crazy right? i feel like im..idk, begging for friends i guess. and this feeling just makes my heart feel kinda heavy with um..regret? regret that i cant just be nice to people and not feel like im begging for friends.. i guess.

and people have been nicer to me lately, even people who i would never expect to be nice [mostly the "semipopular" and "popular" group] and i just feel like..I DONT DESERVE THIS! i dont know why i feel like i dont deserve it. i guess its because i spent 7th-9th grade wanting soo bad to be popular and now that i am actually getting attention from people [girls AND boys] i feel like i dont deserve any of it. like whenever i sense someone trying to be my friend i get excited, then i get turned off like "wow this person must be desparate to want ME as a friend".

now you probably think i have low self-esteem but honestly, i DONT! i think v. highly of myself, its just hard to think that others may think highly of me too, even though it was my goal 7th-9th grade to get others to think highly of me. i think that maybe i just dont like it when people get too close to me. like for example if im really nice to someone i feel like i have to act kinda mean to them the next time i see them, or start ignoring them. i started thinking about it, and i thought maybe this is a case of "i want what i cant have, and i dont want what i do have"? do you agree? and do you have any advice to help me?

i just want to be happy, comfortable, and secure.
thanks for reading

i promise u people dont think your begging for them to be friends with you
and im pretty sure people arent begging for you to be friends with them
you've just been being more YOU lately, expressing yourself, and people like that
they mightve never really talked to you before, but now they are really seeing who you are and they're like hey, this girls pretty cool!
also... bascially its like this
if you want them as your friends, you just stop thinking "i dont deserve this" and you just keep being yourself and make the friends and what not
if you relaly just dont like the attention, then your probably a bit antisocial, and go ahead and be a jerk to them because if you do that, they'll think you're just a snob and youll turn them off
k !

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(Rating: 5) thanks for the advice.

this made me feel better.
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