about

My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.

I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.

I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.

People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.

Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.

I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college

advice

Ok, so I read your response, I liked it the most so I'm still wondering, should I ask her to let me know when shes ready? I'm comfortable talking about it but afraid of her response being negative or just no real answer, and if i did bring it up what should i start with and what should i say, i think I know, but at the same time I want to be sure that what I think is right. Thats why just asking her to let me know when shes ready seems like the best way to go. Shes told me many times to not ask if something feels good and that she'll tell me if she doesnt want me to do it. Or what if i just took a different advice columns opinion and, start by kissing then rubbing the thigh then rubbing the chest then ask if she wants me to go lower and response depending go from there.
Any advice would be great and I thank you for it.

A good way to start would be to say something like this. Feel free to fill in the blanks or whatever this is just my suggestion.

"I really like being with you. When we're together, I feel [BLANK]. And it is because I feel this way, and because I respect you, that I am bringing this up. I think that since we're starting to get more and more intimate, we should talk about things that both of us want. I want you to tell me because I don't want to go to far and make you feel uncomfortable. Do you agree?"

I don't think that "just going with it" when you two are hooking up is a good idea. It should all just happen with having to stop and be like "Is it okay if I go do this?"

If you talk with her about it first, I promise it will be much more enjoyable because you won't have this constant doubt it your head that you're going too far.

[view]

(Rating: 5) great advice, the speech gave me the confidence that i think will allow me to talk to my gf about it...i would not have been able to find the words.
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