Hey!
I live in Canada and I'm teen. I've been through a lot of stuff with my friends over the last few years and I always try to give my insight into their problems (sometimes even when they don't really want it lol).
I've realized that over time I have accumulated a lot of questions about moving on, so if you have a question about that, lay it on me!!
I don't think that ratings matter, and that you should choose someone to trust your question with, that will answer it with care, but show you what the world really is and wont sugar coat it.
I hope you guys find my advice helps, hope to talk soon!! :D
Angie
E-mail: princess_in_pink723@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Canada
Age: 16
MSN: princess_in_pink723@hotmail.com
Member Since: September 9, 2006
Answers: 465
Last Update: February 20, 2010
Visitors: 28575
Main Categories:
Families
Friendship
School
View All
Favorite Columnists
schlichtinator
coreymatthews
Jay-lee
|
| |
lifes been sucking lately
dont like my friends
not over my ex
its been a month since the breakupp
hate where i live
ive tried expressing myself inn many ways
songs
poems
quotes
talking to "friends" even though they dont try to help and talked shyt about me the day after we broke up about how me talking about it and being depressed was so annoying.
my grades havent been good
i feel like i suck at everything
yes, sadly enough i tried writing a list of my good qualities and talents and no, it did not help whatsoever.
i dont know how else i can handle myself.
ive been trying to convince myself that ive moved on from my ex but i know its a way to cover upp that empty spot that always made me feel good.
how else can i deal with this
im a wreck inside.
thankss;
Xxhopeless (link)
|
Hey!
I'm going to take a shot at answering this question, hopefully if I give you my best answer it will help alittle bit
In the society we live in, we tend to find our selves comparing our lives to those of others. You said that you arent over your ex and its been a month since the break up. You must have the preconceived notion that you should be over him and on to someone new by now, when in reality, seeing as you are obviously a sensitive caring person, its only been a month. We all move on at our own rate, even if he has moved on, doesnt mean you should be already. I'd say that it would be normal for you to still have feelings for him three or four months from now maybe even longer.
Usually my first suggestion as far as confidence would be to write the list of your qualities, but I see that didnt work, thats okay though, different things work for different people. Instead, I would write a list of your goals. Make one for the ones that you doubt you will ever reach (become the president of the united states) and another for the achievable ones (bring up my grades!!) Then work to achieve them. Achieving goals will help you to find self worth, and even if its a simple goal like, go to bed before eleven tonight, when you acheive it you still feel alittle bit happier. Little things make a difference. I know you're thinking um... thats pretty much the same as my other list and that didnt work, well if you arent willing to try my ideas, why ask for advice?
As far as expressing yourself, maybe you havnt found the right form yet. I would suggest joining an art class (preferably a performing arts one, because drama, acting, musical theatre, etc. encourage putting yourself out there, and expressing yourself using confidence. I use to have REALLY low self esteem, I joined musical theatre, I am not perfect, but I feel SO much better today. it may not seem like it would help you, but I'm 95% sure it will at least a bit. Anyone I've ever met in my drama classes has great self esteem and confidence) and learning a long with a lot of other people. (I'm not going to say make new friends, but you never know who you might stumble across in a class).
Another twist on the qualities thing, instead of listing off twenty different qualities at once, in the morning when you get ready, look in the mirror for ten seconds and just smile. It might be hard at first, but just think of a really happy time. Seeing yourself smiling might make you think more positively.
As far as your friends go, try and make yourself into the perfect best friend. dont diss them, take whatever they throw at you, and try and to be as great of a friend to them as possible even if they dont return the feelings. You learn from what you experience.
Xxhopeless, you need to be a good friend to yourself too. (you're probably thinking wtf is wrong with this chick shes soooo corney). When ever you feel yourself saying "oh my god I suck at everything!" or "I have no good qualities" be the good friend to yourself and defend yourself. "um, what are you talking about, I am great at being myself" or "Um, I have the ability to ask for help when I need it,". Even those little things are confidence builders. And like I said, the little things help.
You need someone to share your feelings with whether it be yourself in the future (A journal) or someone who you totally don't even know (someone on the internet) or someone you do know who listens (fill in the blank). The longer you keep this all inside the longer it will eat you up inside and the longer you will feel this way.
Remember, you arent alone in this, no matter how alone you feel, and there are always twists on the things I already described, something has to work eventually. I havnt given up on you, so dont give up on yourself. I'm glad you made it this far in my long ass piece of advice, but that was the easy part, now its time to take action and do something about it. Good luck, and I hope I helped, let me know if you need anything or you need to talk or w.e.
Love ya,
Angie91
|
|