koshii's advice column

askkoshii

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: About a week ago, I felt very uncomfortable. I was talking to someone during school, and somehow we got into the conversation of homosexuality.

She was disgusted, blunt about how all gay people should be burned to death, that they chose to be rebellious and gay and they would rot in hell forever. I, myself, am not gay, but I was so taken back by what she was saying. I told her that I did not believe in God, and that I believe that people do not choose their sexual orientation. Mind you, I am not ignorant. I was raised to believe in God, but as I have gotten older (17) I have realized my own views.
She flat out told me that I was going to hell along with all the gays, muslims, buddhists, non-believers, jews, etc; Asked why I was defending gays, and then decided to accuse me of being gay for not agreeing that gays are disgusting.

I stayed calm, and asked he what she would do if she birthed a gay child. She told me should would lock it in a closet or in their room and not let it come out until it was straight.

I am just feel offended and imposed upon. Just because I do not believe in the same thing she, or the majority of people in my area (i live in the south) do, doesn't mean I should be yelled at and accused, and meant to felt horrible about myself.

I don't impose my views upon others, but I just felt so uncomfortable when she was basically giving me a one way ticket to hell.

Should I just forget about it, and disregard her?

Help. :/

This is one of the big, big reasons that I had to escape from the south (South Carolina, to be exact. I now live in Japan). Remember a few things, in addition to all the good advice people down there gave you:
She's young, and hasn't had a chance to think for herself yet. She's likely still repeating what she's been told, with the utter conviction of someone who really believes there's an army (of parents, God, etc.) at their back. As you've found out, as you get older you start to back off and look at things differently.

She might want to reconsider herself too, because last time I checked, there's a lot more involved in getting into "heaven" than eating Communion and being a hateful, mindless freak the other 6 days of the week.

DO NOT give in to her venom, let other people sway you, or become too depressed! Your views are peaceful and compassionate. That's a serious accomplishment at that age. You are ahead of the curve so dig in your heels as best you can. It's really really difficult to do so, but try to keep your composure. There is a lot of suffering in the world. If YOU are content with where you stand with God, Life, Fate, etc., then please just do what you can to ignore these people. You can never win in an argument involving the Bible, because it will ALWAYS become distilled down to "Well you're WRONG because I believe it because I have Faith because that's what I believe!" And that's a completely irrational and illogical argument.

My truly best advice is to talk to other people who have sympathetic beliefs on the internet, join some discussion groups, and use it to buoy you during these difficult times.

v.s. f/22

Rating: 5

thanks so so much. It made me feel so much better. You're a truly great advice columnist.

bio

People have been coming to me for advice so long, I might as well do this all in one spot. I watch a lot of unfathomable Japanese TV and drink a lot of coffee. I'm a freshly-hatched Illustration major, formerly trapped & dying in the American South, now busily teaching phrases to all of Nagoya Japan. I'm always on the lookout for more video games and sushi.
I have lots of interesting pets. Wanna see my beetle?