Hi, I call myself Ignatz after Dan Herriman's character in the old "Krazy Kat" comic strip. I'm 44, father of 3, husband to one, crazy about music and books and food and movies and history and martial arts. I've had some wild and crazy times in my life, and I figure I might as well put in some of my perspective.
I promise not to talk down to anyone or make fun,and I promise not to BS anyone. If you're old enough to ask a frank question, you're old enough to get a frank answer. Oh, and if you ask me a question directly, please be patient. I'll get back to you as soon as I can. My life's a bit hectic. :-)
Gender: Male
Location: St. Louis, MO
Occupation: Professional dad
Age: 44
Member Since: October 29, 2007
Answers: 328
Last Update: January 23, 2015
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I’ve been married now going on 3 years to a beautiful Mexican woman but things have been bad from the very beginning.....
she has a son 17 years old he does not do well in school since he has come to live with us the first year he got A's and the after that F's he never leaves his room is all ways on the pc and all ways makes excuses not to do his chores around the house.
Just about every argument me and his mother get in are about the fact that he does not take care of his responsibilities’ try being very nice about how I bring the subject up but no matter what she acts like I’m trying to hurt her son.
The last argument was because he was making excuses why he could not mow the lawn.
I told her don’t worry about it I will do it my self
She got mad and started telling me that I’m being ridiculous and I could not hold back any more I told her if she does not let her son grow up then
He will have trouble when he gets older and it’s possible that the way she babies him he may end up gay when I told her that he came running out of his room with a samari sward threatening me with it so I told her to get control of her kid before someone gets hurt. She took the sward and then he called the police on me he said for verbal abuse LOL anyway
That was 3 weeks ago and she thinks that it was ok that he did that because he was protecting his mother.
she was not crying for help I was not even near her now I don’t know that I can stay married to a woman that make that ok for her son to do and I’m starting not to trust my wife any more one day she is nice then 2 min later she is trying to start a fight with me when she does I just have to leave as it is all ways one sided and I’m never aloud to speak.
she was not legal in the us until we got married and I’m feeling like this whole marriage was just to get her green card she never treats me like a friend or listens to any advice I might have instead she takes it as an attack and starts the hurt game.
I am just about to file for a divorce since I can’t be the only one to flex in this relationship
How can I get her to listen to me and not take it as an attack on her or her son I’ve felt alone in this marriage from the beginning?
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Friend, I think you are being used. She's definitely playing with your head, jerking your strings and making you dance.
There may be some cultural differences at play here. Latina women in general are very devoted to their children, and what seems to be babying to an American perspective is just normal for them. It's not unusual for Latino men to live with their parents until they get married themselves. Also, she may have different expectations for your behavior. She may see your willingess to compromise as weakness. You may have to play the macho card and be very firm with both of them.
I would definitely set ground rules for everyone. No weapons in the house, for example. Lay down the law, be reasonable, but be firm. If she and her son don't have enough respect for you and your happiness, they can walk.
Hope this helps.
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Rating: 5
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thank you that is so much needed to know
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