Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
Answers: 1331
Last Update: June 20, 2010
Visitors: 89021
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a month or two ago i asked people what their opinions were on my situation. it was whether i should keep hanging out with dave, the guy i am with. since it is illegal for us to see eachother, we arent really going out, but we like eachother. he lives in boston and i am 5 minutes away so i go there everyday to hangout/sleepover. he is moving back home tomorrow, an hour and a half away from me. i dont know what i am going to do. we want to still talk but we havent really figured anything dominant out. he says he would let me stay at his house (his familys home) on weekends but he doesnt know how is mom would feel about me being 17. im just kind of heart broken and its sad to say, but i wish i never had met him now because i dont know what im going to do when he leaves. any suggestions? thanks =( (link)
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HOney, I know it is going to be hard, but you can't base falling in love on whether or not it is going to be easy. Sometimes it is not, but it is always worth it. You don't say how old he is, but I am guessing he is much older, and you may be right his parents won't like you. But soon you will be 18. And then maybe his parents will be more accepting. I can say soon, because I am old and I look at time passing much differently than a young person does. Your 18th birthday may seem so far away.
Yes it is hard to be away from the people we love, but if we didn't love them, then we wouldn't miss them. It all goes together. He may know be able to anticipate how hard it is going to be for him. He may not know until you are not around, how much he is going to miss you. I thing you two should agree to keep the lines of communication going. It is so easy today with computers and free minutes on cell phones. Agree to stay in touch with each other and see how things go. If you miss him, tell him, and see what he says. He'll probably say he misses you too, and when he does, say when can I see you. Once he is back home, he'll be telling him mom about you, and he'll feel her out to see if she will be OK with you visiting. Maybe not right away.
Once he has moved, you both may find the relationship too difficult to maintain on a long distance basis, and if so, then you will both look to get involved with other people. But just give it some time and let it happen naturally. You don't have to have all the answers today.
So agree to stay in touch, and agree to try and get together when it is right and convenient for both of you. And see what happens.
Good luck to you dear. And don't say that you wish you never met someone that you have fallen in love with. It is much worse to have never been in love at all.
Michele
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Rating: 5
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thanks so much. i didnt get to see your advice till this morning and that is after i left. i picked him up at work late last night because hes a bartender. and whenw e were going to bed he asked " so what do you want to do" and i couldnt even say anything. it was the hardest goodbye this morning and i couldnt even stick around. im just going to wait till he calls to tell him how i feel. thanks so much
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