about

My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.

I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.

I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.

People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.

Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.

I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college

advice

Hi My problem is well I have been bfs with this friend lets call her jo for almost five years now and I have always been there for her and she for me but you see she turned 18 a few months back and I dont turn until two weeks and well I new she would get new friends and yes I am a little jealous I supppose but its not unfounded you see she recently made this new friend lets say amy and well she doesnt have time for me now. we used to phone each other every night and now when she tells me to phone shes never there shes out with amy. It at first didnt bother me but now it pisses me off cause we made a deal that we would never let someone come between us and that wed always be there for each other.
Also any time we spend time together as I say a rareity in itself shes always txtin or phonin this person and not payin any attention to the fact that shes supposed to be with me.
I guess what im sayin is that I think Im loseing the one person I have ever trusted and Its killin me and I cant tell her cause then ahll lose her anyway and that will kill me once and for all.
Another thing that really bugged me was she asked me if I wanted to go clubbing with her and when I said yes as its the week after my bday she said that I could "TAG ALONG" with her and amy.
I really need help cause this is really gettin me down and soz its so long.
lxx
please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Turning 18 opens up a lot of possibilities and freedoms, as I'm sure you will experience soon enough. Have you thought that perhaps Jo just got caught up in all that freedom that she didn't realize how neglected she made you feel?

My advice is to talk with her about this. I promise it won't kill you. If she is as good of a friend as you say, she will hear you out and most likely try to be a little different from now on. Communication is really the only option you have at this point. What's a friendship without communication after all?

Once you turn 18 and are able to go clubbing and all that other fun stuff, I'm sure you'll realize it was just an honest mistake. I think it would be a great idea for you to give Jo's new friend Amy a chance. Who knows, maybe she'll make a great new friend for you as well and the three of you can have fun together.

I understand your hurt, for I have been through those things myself. But, honestly, more than half the time the person does not even realize they are doing it. If they are a good friend, they will hear you out and things will get better between you two. If she won't hear you out and thinks you are overreacting, then maybe she was never that great of a friend to begin with.

Basically, tell her how you feel, ask to be included, and get out there and meet new people and fun right along with Jo instead of hanging back and getting upset.

[view]

(Rating: 4) Thx for the advice I took it and we r now kl but still I cant speak to or trust Amy .
lxx
<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker