Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
Answers: 1331
Last Update: June 20, 2010
Visitors: 89102
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I love my friend but she's moody. I recently went with her on a 4day trip and we had the best time; laughed a lot, picked up men, acted crazy, but the last day in the car she hit my thigh I kinda laughed it 0ff. She kept d0ing it & I looked at her & said a littly jokingly "why are you hitting me?" she said "because I can. Wat are y0u g0in t0 d0 ab0ut it?" I laughed it 0ff. She did it AGAIN & I was PISSED I was ready t0 cuss her out, but I have enough respect 4 her parents in the car to not in front of them. Then when we g0t in the restraunt she tried getting too close 4 comfort & tried to push me off the bench! We are 16 year old people? I was supposed to spend the night but I didn't because I knew she was going to get worse! Wat do I do with her? She all of a sudden gets like that? That's a reason why I can't call her my bestfriend or sister! She used to do it at school in front of our group to me & say things. (That's why I was happy when she moved!) we're perfect and then wow. She has this 'I'm serious but I'm going to pretend I'm joking' attitude! 0h & I d0nt do a THING to her!!
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Your friend is "acting out". She is upset about something and that is how she is dealing with it. And you are right, it is the wrong way to deal with it. It hurts you, and compromises your friendship. From your posting, you state that everything was great for the first three days, then things got bad, it could be that she is upset that you will soon be leaving, and she will be without her best friend. She doesn't like feeling bad about that, so she compensates by getting mad at you and takes it out on you as if you had some control over it. She is acting immature, but bottom line, she doesn't know how to deal with bad feelings.
Next time, if there is a next time, as soon as she starts that stuff, as her what is bothering her. Or ask her right out, why are you mad at me? Or who are you mad at, and why are you taking it out on me. She may deny it at first, but she'll know that you recognized her inner feeling and most likely she will stop, and then start to think about it, and may be able to explain later, why she felt bad.
YOu see, I have seen young kids do this when they are mad about something, but they don't know how to verbalize what is bothering them. It is very common.
The fact that you got real pissed but she wouldn't stop, tells me that she is really emotionally immature. Her parents are probably not helping. They may even be making things worse
IF she does open up to you and tells you that she is really upset cause you are leaving and she can't make you stay. Tell her that best friends understand that they can't spend every minute together, but they always make sure that every minute they spend together is wonderful, so that both of us will want to come back.
I don't think it's hormones, because when girls are having, you know, pms, they cry for no reason. No I do think she is having trouble dealing with bad feelings. She does need to learn. I hope she does and that you and her can continue to be friends, but bottom line it is not your responsibility to see to it that she grows up. It is her parents. I do hope that things work out
Michele
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Rating: 5
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TRUE. She was having pr0blems with her boyfriend! Yes, she still picks up guys anyway (bad, huh?). Her parents are iffy, to0! Thanks th0ugh very helpful! I will do exactly that!
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