Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
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i am from an arab heritage.... i am so confused about my culture... is there anyone out there who could tell me family traditions?? i am caught between west and east :S (link)
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I would guess that you want to hear from someone who is of the same culture as you, but I can try to answer. I have read a lot of books about arab culture. First you don't say if you are male for female. Because arab culture is very very different for both.
If you are a male, you are the pride and joy of your family. You will be spoiled and treated like a king.Along with your father and any brothers you may have. If your family is well off, your family may send you to college to become a doctor or lawyer. Arab men have a lot of pride. That is OK. I have read some great books about arab life, old and new. You don't say what country your family if from, and in some cases, life is very different within the arab nations. And of course money makes a big difference. But Kite Runner, is a great book written by an Afghan doctor. It is about life in Afghanistan before the Russians invaded it. It was actually a lot like the United States. They liked movies and fast cars and flying kites.
Even if you are in the US or in the UK, most likely your folks will be choosing your wife for you. You may have some say, but they will make the final choice. Can be difficult, but hopefully your parents will make a good choice for you. They want you to be happy. And they want you to have lots of happy healthy children.
Now if you are an Arab woman, than life is very difficult for you. If you are in the US or in the UK, you may be attending school. Most likely you were raised to be very modest, and that is OK. And you were raised to respect your parents, especially your father and you work around the house and help a lot. YOur brother(s) don't have to do anything. If you are being educated, that is great. YOu may even go on to college. But most likely if you move back to an Arab country, you will not be able to utilize your education. Not all Arab countries are like that, but some are. For you too, your parents will be choosing your husband. Tell them to please find you someone who is handsome and kind. Because once you are married, no matter how badly your husband treats you, you cannot go back home. It would embarass the family.
I have read some great books about arab women.
Princess, Reading Lolita, The trouble with Islam. To name a few.
Listen, your heritage is long and beautiful. Arab countries were the birth of civilization. You have a heritage that probably goes back 2000 years. Don't look for your heritage in today's arab world. Because only the bad news gets printed. The arab nation has produced some very great thinkers......Rumi for one was a great poet and writer born in 1207. They were great warriors and studied astronomy, they created libraries, and writing and the use of money for barter. Not to mention the great wonders of the world, the Taj Mahal, and the pyramids in Egypt. Did you know that Muslims, Jews and Christians all believe in the same GOD. Yes, Allah, God and Yaweh, are all one and the same. ANd beleive me, all of us have killed in his name. No one religion can claim to have been peaceful throughout history.
I hope this helps, and that I have piqued your interest in your heritage. You should find out more about it. It will help you to understand your folks better. And the reasons why your family has traditions. All families do. Good luck to you
Michele
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Rating: 5
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thank you!
if it's ok with you have posted a question in your inbox.... i am sorry it's a bit long... but my head is burning for answers!
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