about

My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.

I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.

I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.

People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.

Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.

I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college

advice

A little more than a year ago a friend was diagnosed with cancer. I decided to be optimistic and treated it like it wasn't a big deal. She would go through some unpleasant chemo and then it would be over.

We have kind of a teasing relationship so I made a point of not treating her any differently, while other friends were more sympathetic and altered plans to suit her condition.

Now I've learned that treatments didn't work and they give her about a year. I feel so bad about the way I treated her that I haven't been able to face her since. How can I make amends?

Everyone deals with illness in a different way. If at all, treating her the same probably makes her feel better. You are her friend and the fact that you are willing to treat her the same will make her feel less scared.

Instead of sitting by her and being sad and crying, do something fun together. Sitting and worrying about her death will only make her worried and frustrated. Take the time to take her to her favorite restaurant, take her to the park or the movies, have a picnic together, color together, do anything!

Whatever you do, try not to dwell on the the inevitable future. Make her last year a fun one and make sure she knows that she is loved. Thats what friends do.

Deepest sympathies,

sugarplum07

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(Rating: 5) Thank you. I appreciate you taking time to answer.
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