My name is Jillian and if you've got a question, I'll answer it the best I can.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Student
Age: 16
AIM: Veoom17
Member Since: July 18, 2007
Answers: 182
Last Update: November 18, 2009
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I'm in the process of overcoming . . . eating issues. I'm not to the point where I can call it an eating disorder, although chances are, it is. But that's not important.
I'm increasing my calories slowly, and the higher I go, the more difficult it is. I'm still at a number well under the recommended minimum intake, yet it seems obscenely high to me. I have motivation; I want to be healthy because I want to eventually work as a psychologist and help others be healthy. The problem is remembering that goal when it comes time to actually eat the extra foods. Before I eat them, I'm pretty good at convincing myself that it's okay, even necessary. But after I eat, it's an entirely different matter. All I can think about is how sick I feel and how (irrationally) I'm destroying everything I worked for. I feel like I've totally lost control and that I'm going to regain the 100+ pounds I managed to lose over the last year.
But I want this . . . sort of. Any suggestions for reminding myself that no, increasing calories will not lead to out of control binging (I have a history of that, as well) and that it's for the sake of my health? I'd rather not have something as obvious as notes hanging around because frankly, it's not something I want my family particularly involved in.
Apologies for the length; if you've read this far, I appreciate it.
I'm 20, female, if it matters. (link)
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A good idea is to think of food as fuel. If you don't eat anything, then you will have to putter out on the side of the road. Healthy food is premium fuel and junk food is the cheap stuff. You need it, and you literally cannot live without it. I realize it's one of the hardest things you have to do, but whenever you "destroy everything you worked for" YOU ARE TAKING A STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION!!!
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Rating: 4
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That's a good way to think of it, really. I'd heard that before but it was long ago before I was ready or willing to try and recover. I'll try to remember it this time.
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