about

My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.

I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.

I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.

People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.

Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.

I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college

advice

Well, I'm 16/male, and my mom caught me, uh... masterbating today. She just watched as I pulled my pants up and the porn was still playing. Fuck, I feel really embarassed now. She was already a paranoid mom (without any reason to be one) and it pisses me off to no end, sometimes I just start screaming and cursing at her because she wont leave me the fuck alone and its getting old. Now she wont even let me close my fucking doors because she thinks im gonna do it again! (and shes installing a porn-blocker). I never was close with my mom, and I don't feel comfortable talking to her about ANYTHING, but it's still pretty damn embarassing. It's just masterbating and porn, but she flips out if I see one chest on TV! What should I do - aside fromt talking to her?

Your mother will always think that you are her little baby and she hopes that she is the only woman you will ever need in your life. Catching you doing that gives her the sad realization that you are growing up and you are starting to have needs and urges that have nothing to do with her anymore.

You mother fails to realize that masturbation is a normal and healthy thing for all teenagers. Whether she'll admitt it or not, she did/does that stuff too (I'm sure you didn't want to hear that but it's true).

Don't be embarassed. Maybe you should remind her that it's YOUR body. Ask if she'd rather you be out getting some girl pregnant or doing that?

You NEED to talk to your mom about privacy. Don't jump to drastic measures and insist a lock is put on your door, but maybe make a sign for your door that says "knock please" or "do not disturb." The sign doesn't just have to be for when you're masturbating, either. I'm sure there are lots of times when you just need to be by yourself and not be bothered.

You are 16 years old and you deserve some privacy. Since you feel uncomfortable talking to your mom, maybe express your concerns to your dad or an adult you trust. Then perhaps the three of you could talk together.

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(Rating: 5) Thanks for the advice.
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