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As John Lennon once said, "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans." So true.



Giving advice is sort of second nature to me. I use to have a column on here but ended up deleting it. Now once again I have decided to give advice again. I value people and their problems and try to help them the best I can.



No question is a silly question. Every question has importance. I sometimes feel like some of my questions I want to ask are viewed as pointless but have comed to realize that this isn't entirely true.



My biggest pet peeves are bad spelling, grammar and punctuation. It's silly, but I mean it's not that difficult to tell the difference between you're and your. Or even their, they're and there. No offense if you do any of this, but we learned all of these when we were younger in 5th grade (give or take).



Personally one of my favorite quote is by Eleanor Roosevelt. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
If only people would truly realize this, the world would be so much happier.

advice

On Mother's Day of this year, I started talking to this guy over the internet that lived near me. We talked on the internet for awhile, and then on the phone. Eventually he asked me out. We dated for 2 weeks and then he had to leave for California for a 2-month working vacation. During the time we dated, he seemed so PERFECT. Everything he said was so sweet and I fell for him fast. The first week he was gone I barely talked to him. Then this girl added me on MySpace, and long story short, they started to date. I was miserable for days and all he said when he did reply to my messages (he only replied to a few and ignored the others) that I didn't trust him and blah blah. Eventually I broke up with him. They dated for a week and then he completely erased her from his MySpace. She broke up with him for not telling her what was going on but took him back when he offered her a really lame excuse. I didn't talk to him after the break-up at all, even though I told him I was willing to be friends.

I talked to his mom online recently and she asked me to tell her the whole story. She was angry at him for treating me that way and apparently gave him a piece of her mind. Later that day he IMed me and said he was never dating that Tiffany girl and she was lying to me and all that (I realize this is all a lie) and he thanked me for messaging his mom because she really liked me. Well, he said what he did was really f***ed up and he was sorry and that he finds that he can be a hurtful person and he's sorry about that. He said maybe it ended up like it should for the best so I didn't get hurt any more. But he kept flirting with me and when I said we should hang out when he gets home (as friends) he said "well I know you don't like me anymore....". And when I accidentally sent him an IM that was supposed to go to my best friend that said "I'm nothing special. lol", he replied with "You are special" and when I said I didn't think so he says "Well I do". But he didn't talk to me as much as he used to and didn't call me like he would when we were dating, so I figured it was all a guilt trip from his mom.

NOW, I started a new job with a new guy. Before I started the job he asked my sister and a few friends about me and seemed really into me. Well, we talked online a little before I started the job before I finally met him. I worked with him one day and we talked a little bit here and there and I talked to the guy he lives with some too. Well, they were going to the movies last night with some friends from work and I was invited. The guy called me yesterday asking if I was going and saying that I should go. Then he said he'd call me with all the final times and stuff when he knew them. In the end, he didn't call back.

He's REALLY shy and I'm not used to that, so I get frustrated. I don't get why he wouldn't call back if he's as into me as he makes it seem with the stuff he says to my sister. I just don't know if I can date someone that's almost too shy to even talk to me. He might be different with someone he's actually dating, but I'm getting aggravated with how long it's taking him to make a move. I had a few other guys interested in me recently, but this guy is the only one I actually like. He seems really sweet and he's cute and all, but he's just REALLY shy.

Ever since my ex IMed me again, I've realized how big of an effect he still has on me. I still think about him all the time and I've had dreams about him EVERY night since he IMed me. I know he treated me badly and lied to me and I don't want to be stupid and just go back to him so he can do it again, but I just don't know what to do to finally move on and get him out of my head. It's just that our whole relationship was so perfect and I loved being with him and everything.

My question is this: I want opinions on what you guys think I should do. I want honest opinions about it all. I really appreciate it!

I think you should totally forget about your ex. It sounds like you're just still thinking about him from the fact that you spoke to him when he IMed you. You thinking about your ex will probably pass over soon and you'll end up not thinking about him, but other things. (This is from my past experience in general)

The guy you work with sounds like he's really into you. He wouldn't have asked your sister about you. He's probably, as you said, shy. (That's probably why he didn't call) It's weird because some guys aren't that outgoing and don't like aprroaching girls especially if they really like them. You're probably going to have to be the one to make a move. Try just talking to him, and maybe asking him if he likes you. Be upfront. There's no reason to hint and skirt around the issue. Since it seems like he really likes you he'll appericate you asking him on it, since he wouldn't be the one having to make the move.

Since you really like the guy you work with it'll be worth it in the end. Don't get frustrated with him being shy, he'll come out of his shell when he's more comfortable with you. It's his nerves since he likes you and doesn't want to look like a fool when he talks to you. Does that make sense? It's like he doesn't want to hurt his ego, via you rejecting him or anything of that nature.


Good luck, and I hope this helps. If anything message me if you want. :)





No problem at all, good ideas. He'll get the hints and will probably make a move. Good luck Saturday. :)

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(Rating: 5) Thanks! That helps me a lot. I sometimes overreact about things like him not returning the call, and I think I need to understand him a little better and give him the benefit of the doubt. Here's my plan: I work with him Saturday night and we both host at a restaurant and I'm going to do a little bit of flirting (eye contact, smile, brushing past him when we walk by each other, etc) to feel him out. If I think he's still interested and is responding, I'm going to go into full flirt mode (arm touches, standing close to him, talking to him and laughing with him, etc) when we work together alone on Sunday before it gets really busy. I'm going to let him know I'm interested and hopefully he'll get the hint and ask me out. If not, then, well, I'll just have to do it for him. :) I really like him, so I'm not just going to ignore it.
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