I don't know if my advice will be any good, but I can promise you practical, actionable suggestions. I believe that life is about making choices, mostly about how you will react to situations that confront you. Outcomes hinge on the amount of grace, common sense, and goodwill you bring to the table. Unless of course you're dealing with a total jerk, in which case I suggest you run, don't walk, to the nearest exit. Life is too short to suffer jerks willingly. Everything else is manageable if you keep your wits about you. Pretty much anyway. So ask away and see what happens.
Gender: Female
Location: Michigan
Member Since: April 12, 2007
Answers: 5
Last Update: August 3, 2007
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Okay, If you are over the age of 14 then you could really give me some advice. My life sucks! So lets start from the beginning. Shall we? Okay I'm 14/f and I wont be 15 until april 2nd. Well my life is horrible because I dont do anything or go anywhere plus I dont have friends or a boyfriend like everyone else seems to have. I was with this boy that broke my heart. We didnt go out or anything. But I almost lost my virginity wiht him because he played me and I'm young and stupid. He told me that we were meant to be then he ignores me and doesnt want to talk to me so I hate that I did anything will him and I can't get that off my mind and I'm ssooooooooooo depressed about everything! I just cant handle that he played me like a fiddle then left me there. I'm trying to deal with it. I see that everyone else is happy with somebody else! I really want to die. I'm sooo glad i didnt have sex with him because gosh that would be bad. I mean we didnt take our clothes off. So I guess i learned my lesson to make sure I really LOVE someone before I get in their bed and let them stick their hands down my pants. And whats even worse is that my mom is being a bitch about lettin me go anywhere because she knows what I did with that dude. So I lost my moms trust and guys still wont date me. That dude even called me a whore for doing all that I did wiht him sooo fast. So he lost respect for me and I honestly think I will kill myself. My life was bad and now I've made it worse!
Does anyone have advice as to what I can do? (link)
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You may not believe it, but you actually sound like you already have this mostly figured out! You realize that the guy was a loser and that you made a mistake fooling around with him. You’re taking responsibility for losing your mom’s trust. You went online looking for a solution instead of wallowing in pity and resenting the world. Good for you!
The thing to do first is to let go of the negative emotions you’ve let build up inside you about all this. Once you do that, you can move on to doing something to help you feel better. Knowing the following may help: just about every girl goes through the exact same experience you did sometime before they graduate from high school. I did. Everyone I know did, and not just the girls! Girls can be losers, too, when it comes to misusing people. So no big deal. Stuff happens. I can guarantee that you will make many, many more mistakes in your life. It’s not how many mistakes we make that matters, or even the size of the mistakes. It’s how we recover from them –that’s what matters. And like I said, you’re already well on your way to resolving this. So give yourself some CREDIT, girl!
The important thing is you have the right perspective on it and you already know how to go forward. Sure it's embarrassing and you're going to feel ashamed for being taken advantage of but trust me you'll get over it in time. Instead of letting the negative feelings take over, focus on doing something positive that makes you feel good. I wrote poetry and songs, learned how to play the guitar, and spent a lot of time with my dog. I made all new friends as a result – one who is still my friend years later, all because we both liked guitars and poetry.
One final word…it would be a good idea to talk to your mom and try to regain her trust. Admit to her that you made a mistake because you didn’t know any better. Ask her for advice in dealing with these situations. She may surprise you. And she should be impressed that you’re trying to put yourself back on track. Good luck!
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Rating: 5
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omg! THANK YOU ! I didnt know I had this figure out!
~Munchie!
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