askArthane
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Q: hi. i was wondering if maybe you could give me some advice about guys. i am 14/f and will be a freshman in high school next year and i like a guy in the grade below me. i just broke up with a guy in the grade above me, and i really, really want to love someone. Preferably the guy in the grade below me, but i can't go through being in a different school than my boyfriend again. like i havnt had my first kiss yet and i feel really ready. i just, want to be close to someone and romantic and like making out. What should i do? It's summer vacation in a couple of days for me and I need some advice on how to deal with my feelings. I went to an amusement park with my family and saw a guy and a girl about my age with their arms around eachother on a ride and then when they got off they held hands and went over to the water and started making out and im like soooo jealous i want to cry cus its like ahhhh no one wants me. Sorry this is so long. Please help. :(
It is completly normal for people your age to want to love and be loved so badly. I was different as a freshman though, I liked to flirt alot and have no deep personal connections with anyone of the opposite gender. I did this because I was insecure, I thought that I wouldn't be able to handle breaking up with someone, if things didn't work out. Well I'm 17 now and have gone through that huge breakup so I sortof know how you feel. It's very hard, and you become very emotional all the time. But enought about me. Let's tackle this problem together. All freshman want to be loved, as I said, but there's a hidden process on how to do this. This is what I would do in your situation.
1) Search out the territory.
Look around at your surroundings. Example: School, Neighborhood, Local teen hangouts. And look and see where the best place to pick them is. Another example, you don't want to approach a guy surrounded by 5 other guys or girls, try to catch them alone or almost alone. That way they won't get distracted.
2) The Approach
When you approach some random, cute looking, sort of educated guy. The first thing you want to do is small talk. Say something that evreyone thinks about the school, for instance: talk about how much you hate______(fill in the blank with your most hated subject. Or talk about the weather. Say how hot or cold or windy it was that morning. The reason you want to do small talk first is to see if the guy will actually respond to you. If he agrees and says somthing back, always respond. Another example. If you say that it was really windy, and he says yeah, it looked like the trees were going to blow over, then you could say how much you like or dislike stormy, or windy weather.
3) Introduction
Introduce yourself, usually it just takes your name, and saying something like how your a little nervouse about high school. He will most likly respond with a, Yeah me too.(that says that he is a freshman) or if he says (Ahh. It's no big deal after you get used to it.(Then you will know that he is at least older than a freshman) I went out with someone older than me, and I know how hard that can be. Don't worry I'm almost done, sorry this thing is so long, I just want to help you out.
4) Familiarize
Familiarize(put your self around this person) yourself with this person as often as possible, again without the pack of friends, unless they happen to be your friends too. That way the next step will be easier on both of you.
5) Become Friends
First your an aquaintance, then a friend, then a great friend, then a best friend, then possibly a girl friend. Don't worry, if you only get to the great or best friend stage, then you can tell him your problem, and get his input on the situation. Who knows, if he knows your looking, maybe he'll take some serious notice in you.
That is all the advice I have to give on your situation. Trust me I know this was a long letter, but I think that it will help you out in the long run. I hope this situation works out for you. If you have any more concerns, drop me a line. Good Luck.:^)

wow. Thank you soooo much for your great tips.

bio
Arthane
I travel the world all the time, so I'm a very well rounded individual when it comes to giving and receiving advice. I'm currently writing a book, but my other hobbies include photography, acting, singing, giving advice, traveling, and movie critiquing(?spelling?) I have many siblings so I understand what sibling rivalry is like. I am also an abuse victim, so I also know what that is like. On one of my traveling escapades I was stung by the second most venomous scorpion in the southern half of Africa, I almost died, but thank God I didn't!

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