about

i'm kathleen.
i'm thirteen years old.
i've been through alot.
i'm absolutely nothing special, and you'll find i'm nothing that will amaze you.
i have trust issues.
i hate many things, such as animal abuse, and labels.
i'm a vegitarian, and i don't drink milk.
i sometimes talk alot, sometimes i'm really quiet.
get to know me: kathleenxsaidd- AIM.

advice

What if I'm like this forever? I'm always bored. I've lost a bunch of friends I thought I was close with. But all they did was turn on me. I can't trust anyone. But I still manage to give people a chance. Only, I can't seem to keep any friends. Like no one wants to stick around me. Maybe Somethings wrong with me. I have no one I can trust. Ive been going to therapy since i was 5 and it's never helped. all they've done is put me on drugs. But i'm not going to take any drugs. I don't trust them. And I don't trust therapist. They always give up on me and I don't like the fact that they only care because they're getting payed. It's not honest. And I feel like no ones Honest... But I'mm starting to hate myself because i feel like all i'm doing is complaining. And most of my life I've lived thinking "im not a coward and i can get thru anything" But after all these years of the same bull-cr*p nothings changed and all ive realized is that Ive had false hope... I hate myself and i hate who im becoming. Because after all these years of being treated like crap, im starting to treat others like crap. And I try my best not to, but sometimes I cant even control it.
I have no one to talk to and I feel like no one even cares enough to even listen. Ive tried writting, but that doesnt help anymore. And music use to be my escape. But that doesnt work much either, anymore.
I dont do drugs. but sometimes i think i should just to it, to numb all my feelings and just knock me out for a while. I know its the wrong way out. But i dont know what to do anymore. I wish my mind was simple and I could just not care like everyone else. And yes, i know everyone has their own problems, thats why i cant even talk to people. cause i hate being selfish and i know the world doesnt revolve around me. But ive felt like this my whole entire life!
And now, sometimes I just pick fights with people for no reason, or start arguements, Like if I want them to yell at me and put me down.
I HATE THIS.
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE and sometimes I want to give up, but i know its stupid and suicide is the cowards way out and im probably too much of a coward to even do that.
And i go out and do excercise for a while. but that doesnt work anymore either cause i get back to feeling like i did before and now the feelings dont go away and i feel like cr*p while im riding my bike or something.
Well, my mind sucks and i dont even have the mentality of someone my age. Kids my age have their morals alll wrong and ive never been able to relate to their stupid lifestyles.. but i like to respect and i try not to put anyone down. so, im sorry. How can I get over these feelings? I feel like theres no hope. And no way out of this. Im 19

Hey. Well, what you need to do to deal with your trust issues is just forget about what you're fake friends did to you. A large number of people are exactly the same, but it's easy to find the ones who aren't. As for you not commiting suicide, that DOES NOT make you a coward, that makes you one of the few sane people in this world.Basically, you're matture, and the people that you chose to befriend aren't... but that doesn't mean they're horrible people, it's good to have a few immature friends, it helps you have fun. All in all, what you need to do is "wipe your slate clean," and forget what everyone else has done to you. Just start your life over. Maybe you could ask one of your parents to transfer you to a different school. I'm pretty sure if they knew how miserable you were they'd atleast try. If you can't go to a new school then pick a new clique of friends. Since you're 19 you're most likely in college, so changing schools would be out of the question. Just start over and forget your past. And know that while you don't think anyone cares about you, your family does and anyone that cares enough to put an answer to this question is living proof people are concerned.

Keep your chin up, hun. It will be okay :].

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(Rating: 5) thanks so much!
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