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Q: 20/f. To make a long story short, I'm dating a new guy, my ex's friend, and my ex found out. (I know, "ex's friend??") My ex still has feelings for me, so he flipped out. During the 2 hours I spent calming him down and saving my boyfriend from getting the crap beaten out of him, I realized I still like my ex. He was still flipping out about his friend/my guy, so I admitted it to him.
The relationship with the ex ended because neither of us were prepared for the intensity of the emotions that came with it. He backed out, but still kept me close to him. He used to upset me a lot, but always made up for it.
I've been with the new guy for almost a month, though we've been acting like a couple for longer. He's sweet and romantic, but he does a lot of things that REALLY annoy me. Not to mention, he's not nearly as good in bed as my ex was. I actually found myself thinking about my ex afterwards once.
Now I have 3 hearts and a huge predicament in my hands. I know honesty is the best policy, but if I tell my current guy I still have feelings for my ex, I'm afraid I'll lose him, since I backed out of a relationship with him once already.
What do I do? How do I handle this?
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You're not going to like what I have to say... but I hope you really consider it.
I think you need to distance yourself a little from both of these guys -- and from guys in general. Your ex still cares about you and you care about him, and because of that, you're finding yourself comparing these two men, when in actuality that's never a good thing to do because everyone is different -- for good reason.
I think that if you're having this much trouble deciding what you want to do with your OWN heart, then you shouldn't string their hearts along with it, you know what I mean? If you continue your relationship/lack of relationship with either of these guys, you're only going to hurt both of them, and yourself.
I suggest telling both of them that you need some time alone to figure yourself out, before you try adding another person to your life. If they both truly care about you like it seems they do, then they'll understand and give you your space -- and if they don't, then you don't need to be with either of them anyway.
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I've been considering that, actually. I know it's bad to compare them, but they're kind of forcing me to. Argh >.<
I think you're right, though. Thank you for giving your opinion even though you thought I wouldn't like it. That's quality advice. =)
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bio
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Hey there. I'm Holly, and I'm 19. I've been through a lot in my life -- literally, if you can name it, I've probably dealt with it or know someone who has. Unfortunately, it sucks, but fortunately, it puts me in a great position to help people that need advice. Feel free to ask me anything about anything. =]
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Info
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Website: E-mail: Gender: Female Location: Richmond, VA & Englewood, CO Age: 19 AIM: Yahoo: Member Since: April 25, 2007 Answers: 164 Last Update: June 14, 2007 Visitors: 11026
Main Categories:
Favorite Columnists
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