I'm a woman in Texas. I'm married and have a school-aged child. I have a medical background. I'm quite liberal, socially. I love helping people with medical, parenting, and social questions. Don't ask me about tech stuff or finances, because I need advice on those things myself!
Gender: Female
Location: Texas
Age: 34
Member Since: December 17, 2006
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Last Update: September 2, 2007
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Xenolan
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there's this girl. she and i used to be best friends from 3th grade until around this year (almost the end of 8th grade). she and i had LOTS of relationship problems, and she's never really been a great friend to me. but for some reason, we stuck together. well i introduced her to this girl, and the three of us were best friends. well, they both kinda ditched me, and the other girl betrayed my trust and says mean things behind my back. but my "best friend" after a long time of only quick hi's in the hallway asked me for a favor. she wants to borrow a very nice pair of shoes of mine because hers got destroyed. well, i dont want to just give to her and her think that everything's okay. cause i'm reasonably pissed at her... but i don't want to be mean about it and not give it to her cause i mean the shoes aren't a big deal. what do you think i should do? give her the shoes or not? & if you think i shouldn't, what excuse can i make up? (link)
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Well, if you want to be bitchy, just say "I only lend my clothes to my friends because I'm not sure I'll get them back otherwise." It's really immature and selfish of her to expect you to provide those shoes just because hers got ruined. She can't be your friend when she wants something and not your friend when she doesn't.
If you want to let her down without confronting her rudeness and backstabbing tendencies, try this "I'm sorry, but I can't lend them to you. My Mom gave me the money for them and she would be really upset if they got ruined. She told me not to lend my things out." Or tell her you would but you have a foot fungus or a wart. Or just 'no.' It's a ridiculous request and doesn't really require an excuse. People don't generally share shoes with their friends (even if they share dresses, etc) because shoes are very personal and if someone has a different style of walking, they can ruin them for you by wearing down the heel on the wrong side or making their foot imprint on the padding. It's just not something I'd do with someone less close than, say, my sister.
Good luck,
Sabine
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