Hey!
I live in Canada and I'm teen. I've been through a lot of stuff with my friends over the last few years and I always try to give my insight into their problems (sometimes even when they don't really want it lol).
I've realized that over time I have accumulated a lot of questions about moving on, so if you have a question about that, lay it on me!!
I don't think that ratings matter, and that you should choose someone to trust your question with, that will answer it with care, but show you what the world really is and wont sugar coat it.
I hope you guys find my advice helps, hope to talk soon!! :D
Angie
E-mail: princess_in_pink723@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Canada
Age: 16
MSN: princess_in_pink723@hotmail.com
Member Since: September 9, 2006
Answers: 465
Last Update: February 20, 2010
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I read your response to that one girl about being confident and stuff.
i totally agree with you about doing it foryourself.
i no this is kind of random.
but i really would like to change myself and be able to not care so much of what others think of me. i want to be able to have good relationships and branch out, and its hard because i am very quiet. i try try try to not care what people think of me... but its like i freeze in social situations. some people say its my nature... and thats its because im an introvert, but im sure theres some ways to over come shyness becuase it sucks.
anyways i read what you put about you knowing how to be all out going and stuff... so do you think you could give me some hints.
thnak you so much. (link)
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hey!
Yeah I can totally help you out. I was hoping that question would either show that girl that she can't let others change the way she acts and is around other people, or that it would catch someone else's eye.
I'm an introvert as well, and there are a lot of times where I have this problem.
people say, justdon't care what people think, but when they arent introverts themselves, they don't realize how hard it is. SOme people say it's because I'm uptight and I care too much about relationships with other people, and I agree, but thats not all of it.
I think that no matter how hard you try you will always be shy, but the only way to get over it, even just alittle bit is by not letting it control your life. I think that you should try and go to a summer camp or something by yourself. Go to make new people, because one of the only ways to over come shyness is to be forced to not be shy. If you have to go up to other people then you have to not be shy. That experience could be the best experience of your life or it could be the worst. For me, it was the worst. I went into it worrying that it was going to be bad and I was going to have a horrible time and I did. I didnt make any new friends and creepy people I hated followed me around. I was a bitch to everyone and it was just an experience I regret. But one of the reasons I regret it, was I didnt try to make friends hard enough. I didnt talk to new people and over come the shyness. I defeated the purpose, so if you can do the opposite of what I did, it will help. Because the skills you learn will transfer to back at school or other parts of life.
I don't know if you do this, but I will walk down the hall and see someone I know and duck out of the situation or pretend not to see them so I can avoid the confrontation. I don't know why I do it, but if you do it, heres how to stop, when you feel nervous about seeing someone think of three things to say to them such as I love that shirt or how was your weekend. And then you can't be afraid to talk to them. Don't pretend not to see people because that can send off the message that you are snobby and stuck up.
Think of the worst that can happen. What you say something weird and they all laugh? They're laughing because you're funny. Maybe it was an accident, but maybe they don't know that. If they laugh smile and try to get someone else to say something.
If the worst that could happen is they don't get your joke, don't tell jokes, say something ironic that happened last night or add an interesting fact to the conversation.
Try to smile a lot and nodd along, if you arent adding something to the conversation at least you are trying to face your shyness fear, and sometimes the group needs a quiet one.
I think self confidence is an issue for you, so I think you should do a couple of things about that, first, you should try and tell yourself everyday something different that is good about you, liek I look awesome in this shirt or my eyes are so pretty.
And then set goals to improve yourself. Don't take these too far though. Like examples could be:"I want to get better abs." and then try and set three ways to fix this. but don't take it too far, liek I said. Don't become anorexic on me, or anything. And if you notice yourself feeling like the goal is for other people. Quit. Stop doing it. No mater how much you want it, if you're dieting to get a boyfriend quit dieting. Even if it's important to you too, it's not worth it.
Everyday people with low self confidence go out there and worry about what other people think, this is something they have to get over. And they will eventually, but if you continue to do things for the wrong reasons, then you go back instead of forward.
Love yourself, thats the most important thing, if you're alwyas trying to change it you wont go anywhere.
Relationships take time. Build on them everyday and you'll get more. People always say, I wish I was close enough to her to go to her house on weekends. Start by saying hi every morning, move into asking for her email address incase you have a question about an assignment or something, more up to calling her to ask her something. Move up to inviting her to the mall with your friends. Move up to inviting her over sometime. It takes time, and no one said it was easy, just be patient. And remember 4 good friendships are better than 100 okay friendships.
This takes a lot of work, and I know I didnt give you a lot of tips but try those and then get back to me, if you need some more I can help you out. Hopefully this works, because you deleted your question before I could answer it. I hope I helpped, and if you need anything else don't hesitate to ask. Love ya,
Angie91
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Rating: 5
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Wow thank you so much, I will really try to do those things, especialy since im going to a new school next year i hope it will be a great way to get out of my comfert zone and meet new people. And yeah, i know what you mean about avoiding eye contact in the hall and stuff i do that all the time because im always afriad of aqward moments, but i guess if i think about what to say it won't be that bad.
so once agian thank you so much
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