dulce8nina's advice column

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Q: I really hate my life but my friends hold me back not my family because well my family sucks. My friends love me more then my family. I haven't cut because im not some worthless piece of crap.But i have had millions of thoughts about death or killing myself. Im wondering will they even care if im gone? My parents barely reconize me now so whats the point? I told my love one these suicidal thoughts and he yelled at me making me more depressed. I cried for 4 hours straight and I even told him. He likes me alot and he said he would jump infront of a bullet for me. I was recently in the hospital my best friend since 2nd grade (14/f now) died in my arms im now emotionally unstable. Anywho my love one yelled at me and said he needs a week off. Its been more then a week and i sent 2 apology letters he has yet to right me back. I haven't smiled ever since the accident which was April 2nd 2007. I have no emotions but sadness. My sister is majo worried about me and i can't handle it. What should i do to help myself smile? And how will i get my love one to talk to me!? Thank you.

ok well i have a boyfriend who is in the same case as you. he has been that way ever since he was 13 [now 15]...trust me you may feel like nobody cares and if your gone nobody will care and their lifes will stay the same but N0! everything will change and you know what the worst part about it is? that you dont know what you have until you loose it. don`t make your parents,friends,bf and everybody else get a taste of what your death is like in this world. by death i dont only mean you die..i mean that your dead from the inside and your pushing everyone away from you. My friends [5 of them ] died last year exactly on april 2nd and i know what it feels like.About your boyfriend he is probably just concerned about you the same way im concerned about my boyfriend..at times i feel like i cant take this shit anymore.i feel like y am i dealing with his pain if i cant even handle my own sometimes wich comes to my conclusion..in this world you only have yourself. Dont try and smile for your family and friends but for yourself afterall the one that is living this life is you. give your boy friend time to gather his thoughts after all its not a easy situation to be in but if he really cares he will not give up on you.
i really really hope that you regain happiness because we all need it to carry on and i know this is a harsh world but we have to make the most of it remember that=}

Rating: 5

THank you so much

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Wats up?! my name is laura people call me lauris or dee nee wich is short for dulce nina:]
i stay at south central & i can be hella ghetto but ima keep it good for this.
im usually pretty good at listening to peoples problems & i dont know exactly what to say at times or i may not say much at times but when i do it really means alot so feel free to drop me a question if youd like & i promise ill get back:]
if yew wish add me on my yahoo-->dulce_niina
or my myspace just search for abelsandoval@sbcglobal.net