I'm a woman in Texas. I'm married and have a school-aged child. I have a medical background. I'm quite liberal, socially. I love helping people with medical, parenting, and social questions. Don't ask me about tech stuff or finances, because I need advice on those things myself!
Gender: Female
Location: Texas
Age: 34
Member Since: December 17, 2006
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Xenolan
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ok so my best friend is a guy and after he broke up with his girlfriend 3 weeks ago we started a friends with benefits relationship. we've made out and a few other things. i've always had a crush on him and now i really really like him. ok so last week he said that at the next party we'd hook up because we havent seen each other in a while. so its the night of the party and i come into the room and he's cuddling with this whore who has been with every single one of my guy friends and now she's sprawled across my best friend. i was crushed and left the room after a dirty look to both of them. my guy friend sensed i was mad and pushed her off to come talk to me. he didn't know i liked him. then we talked and he told me that she liked him and he liked her a little but realized he only liked her for the attention he was getting. so that made me feel a tiny bit better knowing he only liked her for attention and not personality. i started crying because i didn't know how to tell him how much i liked him and he didn't know what to do so he just hugged me. the rest of the night was better because the whore left and he just stayed and talked to me but i couldn't look at him because i knew i'd start crying. later that night after we both left we talked on the phone and i told him i liked him and he apologized so many times and he started crying because he thought he "f***'ed up" my night. which he sort of did but i didn't tell him that. he said that he wished that girl never came because she always screws things up. at least he knows it. so now he doesn't like her. im so confused. i like him so much that its almost love but i know he's still grieving over his recently ended relationship. i knew him and his ex still have feelings for each other but agreed that it was over and done with so i told his ex about my feelings and she told me to go out with him.(his ex is also a good friend of mine). ok so the thing is today i was talking to him online and it was so akward, we had nothing to talk about. i think he started to like me but didn't think i'd like him back so i dont know what's going on there. my question is...finally...that i dont know how to start up a conversation again. he's my best friend and it's so weird not talking to him like we normally do. so how do i start a conversation with him and now that i asked his ex about going out with him i feel like we can start a relationship. but i dont know how to start it when i know he's still not ready for a relationship??? (link)
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I guess that I'd start off by saying that I was sorry and I had made a mistake : friends with benefits wasn't enough. I'd admit to having made the mistake of getting really into him. I'd express understanding that he may not be ready for a relationship right now and then I'd let him know that I dig him so much I'll wait until he shows interest (within reason). But I wouldn't do the FWB thing anymore. It won't help either of you get the closure and clarity you both need.
Keep positive. If he's worth it, things will all work out.
Sabine
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