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My ex came over and we were planning on having sex, but I wanted to you know... be intimate before we did. He got aggravated and took me in my room slammed the door and pretty much ripped off my ckothes and commenced to having sex, I didn't say no because at first I thought it was funny then as we went on I was just like.. let him finish and that'll be it forever. So finally he was done... but I didn't say anything. I felt dirty and nasty, my friend said that it was rape but... I don't know. What do you think?

If you planned on having sex like you said - was it an actual conversation/oral agreement or did you both just ASSUME (without words) that it was going to happen? If you had any kind of discussion beforehand, then of course he was going to believe that this was going to happen. If you did not want to have sex, you could have disagreed on the decision at that time & avoided him coming over all together. Since he took off your clothes (ripped or not) & you had sex with him WITHOUT verbally telling him "NO" & WITHOUT any kind of resistance, you probably don't have a strong case. Guys can't read your mind, especially if you led him on & you're going with the idea (in your mind: like it or not.) Most people who are truly raped don't think it's "funny" for their exes to rip off their clothes & force themselves onto them. & they don't just lay there & allow it to happen. They'll scratch, they'll scream, they'll do whatever it takes to get out of the horrible position that they are in. Without that kind of evidence, you don't have much to prove. You also said you planned on having sex with him, but you just wanted to be intimate beforehand. Just because things didn't go your way as far as HOW you got there, does not make it rape either. You could have said NO at that point where he became agrivated & THEN it would have been considered rape if he continued to go along with it anyway. But since you went along with it, he can't assume that you don't want to unless you speak up. Now, I am not saying you deserved what you got. It was definitely wrong - BUT in the courts, I don't think it'd be considered rape with what you have told us. It just sounds like you allowed things to happen, didn't say anything at the time & now regret it.

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