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And lately, i've discovered that one of the best answers for relationship problems is communication. talk. explain. share. it does wonders.
advice
(Sorry if this is too long, but I'm just a 17-year-old girl who has no idea what she's doing in this area of her life :3 Never had a boyfriend [or girlfriend for that matter] before, mainly because... I just didn't want one enough to go out and seek one.)
So I've been best friends with this guy for at least five years. However, ever since we've met, he's had a huge crush on me--I'm not sure if it's been on/off or continuous, though he has had a couple of short-term relationships while I've known him. I kind of had a crush on him once or twice, but I never asked him out because, at the time I did like him, I was unsure of whether he liked me or not.
Anyway, now we're both 17, and he likes me, though I've kind of grown asexual and I don't particularly care for anyone in that sort of way. So today, he asks me if I want to go see a play at his church; I don't go to that church (I'm not even his same religion), but I'm good friends with some of the other people in his youth group so I said sure. The night passes on, and as he's driving me home, he asks me to be his girlfriend. I kind of sputter for a second, but finally I just say sure.
Now I don't know what to do. I love him as a friend, and a part of me says that I might as well go out with him--that I even owe it to him (we have a kind of "he buys me food every once in a while and I don't release my undead feline minions upon him" relationship). However, I really don't want to hurt him by just breaking up with him in the end. I'm a senior in a public high school and (hopefully) I'll be going to an art college after I graduate (if not out-of-state, definitely out-of-town). He's homeschooled and doesn't have much of a desire to go to any college, so I'll be leaving this town in a few months anyway, but...
The truth is, I have no idea if I like him or not. It's not a definite "yes or no" question--on the one hand, he's the first guy in my life who's ever asked me out without being a complete sleezeball; but on the other, I don't know if I like him for anything more than a friend.
So what I'm trying to ask is this: is there anyway I can find out if I really like him or not, preferably before I hurt him? And if I don't like him, how can I tell him without using the whole "I like you as a friend, but not as a boyfriend" routine? (Most guys I know absolutely hate that, and I can understand why.) Help, please?
(Once again, sorry for the "tl;dr"-ness of this question. Kind of utterly baffled here.)
haha im in the same situation right now, except this guy i've only known this year but we've gotten to become really good friends and he just told me he was interested in me today (valentines day curse! haha. My advice summarized is to think. consider. look at everything you've done with him, what you've felt around him.
I asked a few of my guy friends and this is what i got from them:
Don't take action, like don't go out with him until you have a clearer image of what you want, because if you go out with this guy and things mess up then its going to be hard keeping a friendship with the guy. You guys might find reasons of annoyance and get sick of each other or one of you guys suddenly lose interest or stopped liking the other.
I would say don't go out with anyone until college because once you enter college you don't know what the hell is going to happen. Do you think you can keep a long distance relationship? I'd advise to wait until college because then you would or might like someone else, or slip out in a long distance relationship if you guys split up and end up going to different colleges. And if the guy demands you go to the same college as him that becomes a problem. Ask yourself, are you willing to follow him or would you want to do your own things instead.
And NEVER go out with someone based on obligation or because you 'think you should'. It wont work out and it always ends with horrible feelings between people.
(Rating: 5) Valentine's curse indeed. As if I didn't like this holiday before....
Thanks for the help :)