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Website: MySpace
E-mail: jenn-hansen@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: DeWitt, IA
Occupation: Nanny
Age: 20
MSN: jenn-hansen
Member Since: December 19, 2006
Answers: 58
Last Update: March 8, 2007
Visitors: 5615
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I told my best (male) friend that I wouldn't sleep with him. We had been friends for 3 years and really cared about each other. I felt that he was my "soul mate". The problem was that he is trapped in a bad marriage- really bad. They have nothing in common and fight constantly. People say they are like oil and water. I almost think he is afraid of her. They have never had kids and she is older than him with two grown kids who are heroin addicts. lt time I saw him he hinted we should fool around. I told him that as long as he were married I wouldnt sleep with him. Now he wants nothing to do with me. So does that mean he was never intending on leaving her and just wanted an affair? Because I think he really did care about me but is too scared to leave her. She is very vindictive. I know how unhappy he was with her because I could see the pain in his eyes when he was with her at social functions so if you think he's staying with her becuase he loves he it's not true. (link)
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Have you thought that by having an affair with you, he was looking for a way out? He might be thinking that an affair is the only way out of the relationship. Just something that I thought about while reading the question. I hope that everything works out for you, and that this was helpful.
Jenn
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Rating: 5
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Interesting...I actually thought of that myself when this first happened. But then I WOULD BE BLAMED FOR RUINING THEIR MARRIAGE! And he could say "yeah it was all (me) that did this" so he would get off the hook and my name would come up at the divorce hearing. He needs to be a real man- sort out his feelings and decide whether or not he wants to stay in his bad marriage or start a new one with me. It's not fair for either me or the wife for him to have us both. I also told him why I wouldn't have an affair- it wasn't that I didn't love him but because my father cheated on my mom and I know how painful it was for her. I told him I still wanted to be his friend even though I wouldnt have the affair. But then I need to think- do I really want to be with a man who was willing to cheat on his wife? If he could do it to her he'd do it to me too. So I know I did right. It's his problem not mine. Thanks so much for your advice.
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