Member Since: December 11, 2006
Answers: 4
Last Update: December 14, 2006
Visitors: 1039
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EVERYTHING WAS RIGHT BUT IN A BLINK OF AN EYE, EVERYTHING WENT WRONG. My boyfriend and I have been together happily for a few years now, and lately, everything has been perfect. The only bad part was his best friend. I never liked him, I always had a bad feeling about him and never was comfortable around him. I told my boyfriend about this everytime his friend would come around so he knows exactly how I feel about his friend. My man friend is nothing but bad news, he's in and out in jail and is nothing but trouble. Anyway, he recently was released from jail and his parents do not want anything to do with him. So he ask my boyfriend if he can stay with him. I always be over my boyfriend house but I don't live with him, my man also watches our child in the daytime while I go to work. I was upset that he moved him into his house knowing how I feel about his friend and since his friend is moving in, his wife and baby is also. I can't describe the way that I feel. I tried to have a talk with him because my child is there and I don't feel comfortable with all those crazy strangers in the house. He's telling me there's nothing that he can do which is bull s###! I feel like my feelings do not matter in this situation nor is the safety of our child. So now my boyfriend and I had a huge argrument and we're not talking. I just think this is wrong that he knew how I felt and also how he's making it seem like it's okay for this kind of person to be around our child. (link)
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This problem is more complicated than it might seem. To understand it fully, let me first take you into the mindset of your boyfriend. As you said, the mentioned person is your boyfriend's best friend. Now there are again many parameters to this thing. As you might have yourself felt many times, you can't see your very close friends (and its the best friend in this case mind you) in trouble especially if you can help him. Now heres the situation. His best friend is in serious trouble and has asked your boyfriend to help him. Your boyfriend also know that you don't like him for whatever reasons. He immediately faces a dilema. What to do? Which side to choose??? And now, he feels even sadder whenever you ask him questions regarding him.
Now I am not going to say to 'adjust' with the man. I know that would not be a healthy advice and is in no way desirable (especially when the upliftment of a child is involved). Now my advice is that you need to bring some changes in your method. For example, you may start the conversation by saying something like "I really do appreciate your concern about your friend...". This would help your boyfriend to feel better about the whole thing (because in such situations people usually consider themselves responsible for all the wrongs in everyone's life). Then, don't immediately jump to asking him to do something about it. One possible method you might suggest is that your boyfriend himself helps his best friend to find a new house (in this way it wouldn't be considered rude either and will thus be easier for your boyfriend).
Show more love and care to your boyfriend. This might be exactly what he needs at this time. Trust me on this.
I hope this will help you...Best of Luck!
PS: I would also like to add my agreement to BitsandPieces's advice. That is really very right. A child, especially a small one, readily grasps everything around him. Now if he has negative influence arounf him, this situation definetely has to be stopped.
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Rating: 5
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Thank you so much.....I think that was a great idea....
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