about

I'm not going to sugarcoat anything for you. I'm going to give you advice that lets you know the reality of the situation. I'll make sure you know everything, the good and the bad. I'm here to target the reality, not the moral. I don't care about the "right" thing to do. I care about the "best" thing to do. Send me a question, and face the reality.

advice

Okay I put this in the category "Relationships -> Friendship" because I didnt know what else it would be classified as.

But lets get one thing straight,
the girl I'm going to talk about I am not friends with her.

Okay, well I was adopted and so was this girl, from the same place. And when we were in elementary school we tried to be friends, it didnt really work, she like lives for PITY, (because she was adopted).. and after we figured out it couoldnt work (well I figured it out)
we just stopped talking.


But now speed forward, to highschool.
She is bugging the crap out of me, my freshman year (last year) i felt bad for her, so yet again I befriended her, and she made it worse, she became freakishly clingy, and caused a LOT of drama. And i said I've had it and I'm not going ot be your friend. Not now anymore, or ever. And you cant convince me too.
I've talked ot school counsulars, but they dont know half of our past so they cant help.


Just know that, we always argued when we were friends, and it was unhealthy and I cant take the drama from her.


But I'm going into my sophmore year,
and she has been obsessing over me it seems. Like reading my comments on xanga ( i have a tracker, and shes not blocked so its not like she cant comment) so yeah. And its annoying, and she thinks we have some tie together since we're "both adopted" but therea re other pepole adopted at our school, from teh same place, but does she bug them? NO? so whats so special about me? She thinks of her adoption of being "abandonded" and thats why she acts eepressed and wants pity all the time.

But I mean she can get help, btu cant she leave me alone? I've even gone to see conuslars about her, but they all told me how i can treat her, and what to say so she will leave me alone. But my questions are:


WHY DOES SHE KEEP BUGGING ME?
WHAT IS HER PROBLEM?


And also she has a hard time letting go of things, like our past.

And I've had it, with her, I'm liable to i dont know what, But I've had it. please help.

I'm not quite clear on some things here.

have you ever TOLD her that you didn't want to be her friend? Like straight out saying "Go away I don't want to be your friend?"

Well, if that didn't work, then, she's one persistent little girl. I'm going to guess the reason she clings to you, though there are other people from the same place, is because she admires you I guess? I'm not saying you should feel bad cause she wants to be your friend and thinks you're cool, and you don't like her at all.

Believe me, I know that having someone "admire" you is troublesome and just plain annoying. There must be something about you that she wants to be like. I'm not sure what about you she likes, but perhaps you could try showing your...worse characteristics. Like a girl who liked me for my art and my race, I guess, I was extremely cold to her and acted incredibly sensitive whenever she mentioned my race. Also, since you know she likes you, act arrogant, like you're better than her.

I don't thinks my next idea's a very good idea, but if you're desperate. You could always be mean to her. She sounds like someone who could easily get on someone's nerves, and her "pity me, I'm adopted" routine is getting old. There are plenty of people adopted so, if not you, someone needs to tell her to belt up and move on with life, perferably to someone who's...not you.

and since you're in high school, you could always try to avoid her by joining clubs and teams that you know she can't join or doesn't want to join. which shouldn't be too hard considering you two are very different.

I'm not sure what else there is to do. I know the advice I've given you has basically been

1) be mean to her.
2) avoid her.

But I'm sure other people have given you plenty of advice on how to break it to her nicely. besides from the sound of the description, you've had it with her and just want to get rid of her, regardless of her "feelings"

I can't help but wonder though, how could she still cling on to you, even when you told her to back off. That must be incredibly annoying. So if you haven't already, just tell her straight out. "Go Away."

--therealist

[view]

(Rating: 5) Thanks.
I dont see it as she admires me,
because she doesnt. And its like I cant do anything, she goes up to my friends all the time and talks to them, they hate her too.
I mean she is one screwed up girl. I swear. She just ugh I'm absolutely positive if you met her you would get annoyed, of her complaining and negativity, and her constant need for pity.
And her noseyness.. etc.
But thanks for yours.

And I've told her straight out LEAVE ME ALONE, because i dont like you. But do you think that helps? NO, she said its a free country and she can talk to whoever she wants.
And I've even gone so far as told on her, and thats a little kid thing to do, and no the teachers say im being insensitive yet they dont know our past.

its frustrating really. very very frustrating.

but thanks for your advice.
<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
humorist-workshop
eXTReMe Tracker