Gender:
FemaleLocation:
CanadaOccupation:
Family, Youth and Mental Health CounsellorAge:
31Member Since:
July 13, 2006Answers:
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October 16, 2007Visitors:
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about
Hello All, I am counsellor with over 12 years experience specializing in parenting, families, youth and mental health. I answer questions in a blunt and straightforward way so if you are looking for coddling or really touchy feely type advice thats not me I provide real solutions for your problems and concrete suggestions in other words I tell you the plain truth I don't sugarcoat.
I am really worried these days with the easy access to the internet and all the false information that is out there and the fact that people believe it!! So please ask first. I don't claim to have all the answers but I can claim that NOTHING will shock me you can try though :)
I look forward to hearing you thoughts and questions.
advice
Before I start, I DON'T suffer from depression.
However, I'm one of these people who finds it difficult to cope with erring on a regular basis. Unfortunately, I am the sort of person who makes a lot of mistakes and they are seldom tiny ones. At any rate, they are not tiny to me.
I lost a book, borrowed from someone else, which held a note inside that was very precious to me. I cannot find it anywhere and it has been missing for a week.
I also made a huge mistake at work today which has cost the company nearly £500. It could have been avoided had I successfully engaged that grey matter.
On top of it all, I forget EVERYTHING because I have the memory of a goldfish. I have some health problems which may be the cause of my memory problems but it isn't the point.
The point is, how do I cope with the periods of self-loathing I experience after making one of these almighty stupid (and avoidble) mistakes? Yes, everyone makes them but I'm very hard on myself because I make so many that affect other people. It makes me angry and upset with myself and I don't know how to deal with that.
Any suggestions would be gratefully received.
Like you I tend to make stupid mistakes with huge ramifications, for me it has gotten much better due to a system that I developed for myself. First of all I write down EVERYTHING not on tiny scraps but on yellow legal pads that i then keep in a portfolio. I copy all my notes once a day (at work) and keep a copy at my desk which never leaves my desk and one in my briefcase. Secondly before I do anything at work I stop and think for AT LEAST 1 solid minute. I also am taking a "booster" twice a day, I mix it in with juice so there is no taste. You can buy the ingredients in a health food shop. gingsing (helps energy), Echinacea, Rose Hip and Vitamin “C” (helps boost health and immune system), and Gingko (helps boost memory, brain power, reduces stress and improves alertness).
So now that I have revealed my top secret hints ha ha ha, in order to feel better when you do screw up and believe me we all do, you need to do a couple of things; first learn to forgive yourself, use daily affirmations no matter how dumb you feel develop a mantra to say to yourself OUTLOUD. Secondly accept that you are not perfect everyone makes mistakes ask yourself this question when you make one, can you change or turn back time to undo your mistake? No so instead of being hard on yourself allow yourself a set time to be annoyed say 5 minutes and then let it go and try and rectify the problem. The stress you put yourself under is probably making you make more mistakes. Take your time and things should improve.
Sorry so long, hope this helps.
(Rating: 5) Don't apologise for it being long! You were a really big help and I can't thank you enough. Learning to forgive myself will be hard - I seem to have no control over my emotions these days!! But thank you SO much. Your advice was great and I appreciate it a lot.