about

Hello All,
I am counsellor with over 12 years experience specializing in parenting, families, youth and mental health. I answer questions in a blunt and straightforward way so if you are looking for coddling or really touchy feely type advice thats not me I provide real solutions for your problems and concrete suggestions in other words I tell you the plain truth I don't sugarcoat.

I am really worried these days with the easy access to the internet and all the false information that is out there and the fact that people believe it!! So please ask first. I don't claim to have all the answers but I can claim that NOTHING will shock me you can try though :)

I look forward to hearing you thoughts and questions.

advice

To start off, I apologize for my question being long, but I think it's necessary for you to know the history of this question so that you can fully try to help me. Thanks :)

The other day I had a tear-jerking conversation with my friend. I noticed scars and scabs on her wrists from cutting herself. I confronted her, and she broke down and confessed everything. Around springtime last year, she was sickeningly skinny. She honestly looked like a skeleton, or a concentration camp survivor. Then all of a sudden this year she gained a ton of weight, and now she looks healthy. She had reasons for being so skinny, (she's a vegan) but I always worried about her, but never confronted her until just now. She admitted to having been anorexic and only eating 500 calories a day. She's 5'6 and weighed 76 pounds. Now she says she doesn't weigh herself in pounds, only in kilos. She weighs 56. She says that the whole anorexic thing was never about being skinny (she naturally is thin) it was about being able to control her life, because her home life is very screwy. Her mom is a nutcase who is addicted to the internet and has a seperate family online. She says her mom hits her, not in a life threateningly way, but hard enough to leave bruises. Her dad recently lost his job, and her mom is waiting for him to get a new one so she can divorce him then make him pay. According to her, her parents never knew about her anorexia or depression. She told me she desperately wants help, but because of her family's financial situation, she's not sure if she can afford it. And on top of that,she tried commiting suicide once by taking a bunch of pills. Thankfully her plan failed, and she is still here. She says she's no longer suicidal or anorexic, but not yet healed. Cutting herself is a sure sign of that. I feel like a horrible friend because i wasn't there for her during this hard time. I've been sworn to secrecy, but for the safety of my friend I can't keep quiet. What should I do?

Worried in San Francisco

Hi worried, Well what I see is that your friend has substituted the controlling addictive behaviors that she had with anorexia to now cutting. As her friend I would suggest that you talk to your mom or another adult that you trust, they will know what to do. If this is not possible then below I have found the FREE clinic in Haight Ashbury that may be able to help her.

If you have any other questions please feel free.

http://www.hafci.org/

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(Rating: 5) Thank you so much for your advice! It means a lot to me that other people such as yourself take the time to help others in need. I'm going to send her this page with all the advice, along with the clinic you sent me. Thanks again! I'll keep you posted :]
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