about

Hello All,
I am counsellor with over 12 years experience specializing in parenting, families, youth and mental health. I answer questions in a blunt and straightforward way so if you are looking for coddling or really touchy feely type advice thats not me I provide real solutions for your problems and concrete suggestions in other words I tell you the plain truth I don't sugarcoat.

I am really worried these days with the easy access to the internet and all the false information that is out there and the fact that people believe it!! So please ask first. I don't claim to have all the answers but I can claim that NOTHING will shock me you can try though :)

I look forward to hearing you thoughts and questions.

advice

My sister is the youngest in our family and suffers from depression and anxiety. Unfortunately, she also suffers from agoraphobia and has been housebound for over six years. She still lives at home with our mom who seems to be enabling her condition. (My mother is separated from my dad and would otherwise be alone in the house.)

Although I live a fair distance away, I try to go over when I can and get my sister out of the house by taking her to the store. But otherwise, she doesn't bother going out. I have a couple of other siblings who are of no help.

Additionally, as my husband and I get closer to retirement age, he is starting to get concerned that once my mom passes away, that my sister will become my responsbility.

My question is how (and if) we should get her to take that first step towards recovery. I know from personal experience that one must actually WANT to get well before actually doing so. However, it's been a LONG TIME now and doesn't seem to be taking an steps toward recovery. (She's refused all offers of counseling.)

Any ideas you can give me would be much appreciated.

You really are in a tough position. If however you are able to get your sister to the store she is in a better position then you think. If she is willing to go out at all then she is able to deal with hear anxiety and fear somewhat.

The first step you need to make is to talk to your mother, explain that your sister will not leave her but that she needs to start getting out. Explain to her the issues that will arise after she dies. If you can get your mother to sign on to the plan to support getting your sister out that would also be a big help. Whether or not you mother aggrees to help you should go to a community mental health agency, and ask their advice.

At the end of the day though this is your sister and you cannot be your sister's keeper, if she refuses all help then there is not alot you can do. Keep encouraging her to get out but you can't force her. Just letting her know she is loved is often all you can do.

Hope this helped.

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(Rating: 4) Thanks for the advice on my sister's agoraphobia. You're right - I do need to have a chat with my mom.

Have a gr8 day.
Linda (chakkuri)
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