about

Hello All,
I am counsellor with over 12 years experience specializing in parenting, families, youth and mental health. I answer questions in a blunt and straightforward way so if you are looking for coddling or really touchy feely type advice thats not me I provide real solutions for your problems and concrete suggestions in other words I tell you the plain truth I don't sugarcoat.

I am really worried these days with the easy access to the internet and all the false information that is out there and the fact that people believe it!! So please ask first. I don't claim to have all the answers but I can claim that NOTHING will shock me you can try though :)

I look forward to hearing you thoughts and questions.

advice

a few nights ago i was with a friend and two older boys (3 years) weve hung out before, and this guy pressured me into haveing sex with him but i wouldnt. i dont like im or anything its just a hookup. the thing is im a virgin and hes not and then i was drunk a few nights ago and ended up doing something im starting to really regret. sex. i lost my virginity to someone i dont even like he made it seem like it wasnt a big deal and everyones had it so i just gave in. at first i was okay with it but now im starting to think.. what am i going to telll my next boyfriend? or my friends? i dont know if i should just forget about this whole thing and say im a virgin. im just getting upset and i dont know who to turn to and im not going to a councelor or anything. i guessi just need some moral support.. thank you
and no we did not use a condom, we were in a hot tub and he swore to me that he would pull out before, but we didnt even get that far into it i think. plus hs going off to college and hates kids. so im pretty sure im safe. please help thank you

Well first of all I would suggest that you get checked by a doctor, as long as you are over 14 it is against the law for the doctor to tell ANYONE anything about your visit. It is important because if he pressured you then it is likely that he has pressured girls in the past and you never know what he could have. He sounds like a total scumbag.

A trick I use with alot of my clients is to have them write down their feelings, what happened etc.. and then rip it up and throw it in the FIB (f*** it bucket) believe it or not it helps.

Also if people ask it really isn't anyones business as a woman of 31 I honestly can say that I don't think any boyfriend has ever asked me how I lost it, my husband doen't even know, and as for my girlfriends I just tell them its not something I am comfortable discussing end of story.

This was a horrible thing and you did not deserve it, this guy is scum and hopefully he gets poison ivy in a really "personal" place!!

I hope this helped.

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(Rating: 5) haha thank you so much that made me feel better. i hope he gets poision ivy too :)
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