Member Since: June 30, 2006
Answers: 59
Last Update: September 9, 2006
Visitors: 4077
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Myself and my fiance are 26 and I have a 2 1/2 year old from a previous relationship. We have been together for 1 1/2 years and engaged for 1. Last week my fiance had a couple of friends that were looking for an apartment to live in. They are supposed to be moving into the ones where we live. Without asking me, Josh invited them to stay with us until their apartment is ready. It has been almost a week now since they came to stay. It made me really angry that he did not ask me if I cared if they stayed, he just invited them and told me they were staying. I'm upset because I am the one paying all the bills right now because he just finished college and has not found a job yet. Our apartment is really small and was cramped with just our stuff in it. Now our dining room is stuffed with their things and they have taken over our living room too. We only have a couch in our living room because it it tiny. At night after I get home from work I like to make dinner then lay around and watch TV for a while before I go to bed. Since they have been there I don't get to sit on the couch or watch TV. I have been coming home and going to my room to read. Josh gets upset with me because I don't want to sit out there with our "company". I wouldn't mind hanging out with everyone, but when I do sit in my living room I either have to sit on the floor or pull a chair from my dining room to sit on. I feel like my son is getting shorted by them being there too. He is used to having free roam of the house and playing where ever he wants to in the apartment. Now he is confined to his room and can not play anywhere else and when he tries to he gets into trouble for getting into their stuff. Then over the weekend we had a birthday party to go to for my grandmother. I made it clear to Josh the night before that I did not want them in the house while we were gone. When we got ready to leave the next day Josh handed them his keys so they could come and go as they please. It's like my thoughts and opinions don't count anymore. Then when I try to explain to him how I'm feeling he gets angry with me and thinks I'm being rude to them. I like my personal space and I hate it when I don't have it. Right now my space in majorly being invaded. I don't know how much more of this I can take. Josh thinks I'm too controlling on things like this, but I'm tired of being stepped on and used. How can I make him see my point of view before I just get angry with the situation and just kick all 3 of them out so it's just me and my son again? (link)
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Oh goodness!
You and your fiance need to communicate! I see you are trying to talk and he isn't listening. Not cool!
First of all, YOU are paying the bills. How dare he move his friends in without talking to you first!
Your guests need to contribute. If they can't, then they gotta go. And if that includes your fiance, then so be it. He isn't being fair to you at all...inconsiderate and selfish are the words I can think that best describes it.
Try having a DEMANDING conversation...Say "look Josh, I am serious about this and we need to talk". If he is argumentative and unresponseful about that then think about how it will be once you're married! A relationship is about compromise and it doesn't sound like he's holding up his end of the bargain.
I don't mean to be negative, but I can see your anger and I relate...I just got rid of an unwanted houseguest. Our situations are much different, but I can definitely sympathize with the whole space invasion thing. Sharing your home with someone can be very difficult and stressful! Especially when you have kids!
Good luck
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Rating: 5
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I think I finally got it through his thick skull last night. Get rid of them ASAP, I want my life back.
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