I have a lot of life experience and a background in education and some counselling. The following are quotes from friends and family regarding advice I have given them in the past:
"You are so direct and to the point but not harsh."
"You have a lot of wisdom."
"You always know how to cut right to the heart of the matter."
I believe that I tell it like it is but I am also senstive to other's feelings and I am able to see things from various perspectives. Hopefully, I can help you too.
Gender: Female
Member Since: June 26, 2006
Answers: 28
Last Update: September 22, 2006
Visitors: 6776
Main Categories:
Families
Love Life
Job Searches
View All
|
| |
|
Dan is 18, he never talked to me during school and then all of the sudden he started calling me a lot. As in every day. I tried to avoid talking to him on the phone because I don't really enjoy talking to him. I tolorated it, but now he wants to go to the movies with me. I told him I'd talk to him later about it, because I didn't want to crush him because I know how guys are when they get rejected. So yeah, I think he is calling today and I don't know what to tell him. I don't like talking to him on the phone and I deffinatly do not want to go to the movies with him. Any suggestions on what to do/say when he calls? (I'm not the kind of person that would say something like "STOP CALLING ME! IT'S WERID!" or "eww no i'd never go to the movies with you"). Thanks so much! =) (link)
|
These situations are awkward becasue you sound like a nice person who wouldn't want to hurt someone. That is why I do advise you to be direct but kind; it is definitely possible to be both at the same time. Men (and women, for that matter) appreciate it when they are told the truth so they know where they stand and when to stop trying. Think of a time when you liked a guy but he gave you mixed singles. That kind of crazy-making stuff really is worse then being told the truth. Men also tend to take an indirect "no" or a "maybe" as an invitiation to keep trying as the door is still part way open. In my opinion, telling Dan that you are not interested is the most respectful thing you can do for both of you. You could try to say something like: "You seem like a nice person, but I just don't see it going anywhere romantically for me." Keep in mind that you do not owe him a detailed reason for why you don't want to date him. If you are not interested, you are not interested.
I hope it works out OK.
|
|