Just your average nice girl next door. Married the love of my life at 24, widowed at 29.
I love cats and sailing and get to the beach as often as I can.
Gender: Female
Age: 39
Member Since: January 7, 2005
Answers: 298
Last Update: July 17, 2006
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Ever since we met, my boyfriend always had this thing about grabbing my upper arm to pull me closer to him when he wants to talk to me or something.
Sometimes it's like he isn't aware of his own strength or something because it'll hurt. And I always tell him not to do it because of that. He apologizes and tells me that he doesn't realize he does it that hard and says he'll try to stop.
Well, of course, he doesn't stop. He just did it last night and that time it left marks on my arms. I didn't even notice until my mom said something about it this morning and I had to sit that and explain to her why the guy I'm seeing left marks on my arm! NOT EASY.
I haven't showed him the marks yet but what should I say to him when I do? I mean, I know what to say but how do I make it clear to him that he NEEDS to STOP?
And by the way, he is in NO WAY abusive, if he came off that way. I'm 18/f -- He's 21/m
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If you've asked him to stop and he hasn't AND it left marks - it IS abuse, whether intentional or not. Someone who genuinely cares about you would have heard your request to stop the first time. No one does this to get someone's attention... would you grab your friend's arm like that? Or even let it become habit? And do you see him do this with anyone else?
You should show him the marks and say it IS inappropriate to get anyone's attention in that manner and it is clearly hurting you physically and mentally because you asked him to stop. If that doesn't get his attention, you should move on.
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Rating: 5
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I see what you're saying but it isn't like that because he does do it to others too but I don't know if it hurts them. Thanks a bunch for your advice.
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