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advice

Can too much attention freak a girl out and make her back off? Even though you're really close? I've heard people say this before, but I'm not too sure, and now I'm affraid that I've been bothering my girlfriend with too much attention.

You can totally freak a girl out and make her back off with too much attention, but it depends on the girl. She may bask in your attention and love every minute of it or she might be feeling like you've got her in vise grips. She will give you signals that she's getting an overdose of you if you'll just watch for them, but you should just ask. Open and direct conversation is the best way to avoid misunderstandings.

Just say something like, "I love giving you a lot of attention, but I know you might need some space once and a while and I just wanted you to know that you can tell me that any time and I won't be hurt." She'll be relieved that you understand and that you won't be hurt by her asking for that space. Just make sure that if/when she decides to take that space you're not passive-aggressively punishing her by pulling away emotionally or treating her differently.

Make sure you're not pulling her away from her friends, and that you're not neglecting your friends as well. When you're gushing over the new love interest in your life it's easy to alienate your friends, but it's unhealthy to rely on that new person in your life for every need you have. They shouldn't be your everything or they'll burn out under the pressure.

People get different things from the different people in their lives--you might have a friend you can be a total dork around, another who is great to study with, and another that you can tell all your secrets to for example. All of these people are important and shouldn't be traded in when you get a new girlfriend. All of your relationships need tending to now and again or they'll get weak and die like a plant without watering.

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(Rating: 5) Thank you! That was a really good answer!
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