You're not going crazy. I know where you're coming from, I happen to love spiders, but I'm completely terrified of centipedes ("All those legs!"). I was just minding my own business the other day, going through our DVDS in the entertainment center when the biggest, longest, leggiest, most disgusting, horrifying beast came out from betwixt Kill Bill Vol. 1 and 2. Seriously, the sight of them makes me scream, run and cry, like one of those people on a Maury Povich "Phobias" show. I've been afraid to get a DVD out for a month now.

Here's the thing: there's phobia ("I'm afraid of brown recluse spiders"), and then there's obsession("I can't sleep at night.."), and then there's obsessive compulsions ("I'm constantly checking under chairs, under tables, etc..."). You could have a disorder. But no worries for now, I think you can stop this thing.

First step, find out more about these spiders. Know what they actually look like. They're usually brown or tan with a black, sort of fiddle shape on their backs. Hence, the nickname, "The Fiddleback Spider". Know where they can be found. Know that spiders DON'T just attack you in your beds. They actually have better things to do with their time like eat bugs and spin webs. They will try to avoid contact with you. But do know what precautions to take if you get bitten. Here's a good link you should definetly check out:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brown_recluse_spider

I bet you know more about what happens when they bite you than anything. Arms and legs turning black and rotting off and all that. I think, in reality, most bites from these spiders guarantee an emergency room visit, but you don't have to give and arm or a leg for it. Anyway, I don't mean to under-estimate them at all, they are venemous, and can hurt you bad, I just mean, they get played up, and life's too short to worry about them. Its so easy to let ritualistic behavior (checking) take a little piece of your life here, and a little piece there. Eventually, it takes control of you. Rise against it, friend.

If you're still having trouble, and the checking gets worse, and/or you can't get the thoughts of them out of your mind when you know the thoughts shouldn't be there and you don't want them there, you might want to talk to a Cognitive Behavrioral Therapist. Sounds complicated, but they're just someone to talk to about your phobia, who'll help you change the way you handle it. I went to one (I was nearly suicidal and on a heavy dosage of Prozac) and my disorder (OCD), I'm proud to say, has never gotten a hold of me the way it did before the therapy, and I went for a good three years before having to go back on medication (I'm not on nearly as high a dosage as I was before). It helped me handle the repetitive thoughts, my biggest problem, on my own. If my small town has one, I'm sure you can find a therapist near you. If not, just talk to your doctor, maybe he/she could reccommend you to someone. If you'd rather try the meds, Prozac is good for this, but there are others.

Try finding an internet support group or chat room for people with phobias. I'm sure there's a great arachnophobia site out there.

Peace...

Shade

:)

Hi, I'm Shade. I'm an artist, living in sin in a small town, hopping from job to job, and recieving no support from my family. I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder when I was 18. I've suffered through many, many, many bouts of depression, panic attacks and just plain fun ole' anxiety. Since I left my Mom's house years ago, I've lived a lot of places and met a lot of strange, horrible, and beautiful individuals. I've learned a lot about people in general and I'd have to say I'm a good judge of character.
As mentioned earlier, I'm "the artist currently known as starving". I do some oil and watercolor, but mostly acrylic painting, also some clay and metal sculpture. I appreciate all kinds of art and love to talk about it. I like to read, mostly twisted, weird fiction or memoirs about drugs and the fellow insane. I love all types of music, mostly rock, and doing anything outdoors, all my animals, horror movies, and mexican food...I drive an old, crappy, loud car that embarasses me and I just left my job at the art gallery, so as of right now, I am unemployed, livin' off my man.

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