My name is Marissa, and I am a sex advisor/educator. It is my life mission to help people to understand sex, pleasure, and relationships...as well as to help those who have been victims of sexual assault find their way back to sexual pleasure and positivity.
I have worked in this field for quite some time, and am a researcher as well. Please let me know if you have any questions, and I would be happy to dig in and help you find your pleasure! :)
Member Since: April 18, 2006
Answers: 32
Last Update: June 3, 2006
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karenR
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I'm eighteen years old, and female.
This morning, I just had anal sex with my boyfriend for the first time. I was allright during, and it was fully consentual, but now, several hours later, I can't shake this feeling of guilt.
My question is, is it common to feel guilty after a sexual act? If there's any advice that you can offer, I would appreciate it. I'm feeling ashamed of myself and I don't want to let my boyfriend touch me sexually ever again, and I really want things to be the same as they were before. (link)
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Anal sex is the final frontier, isn't it? We, as a society, have placed such a taboo on the subject, that it's a wonder anyone talks about it at all. Congrats on being able to converse about what happened.
We do sometimes have remorse about our sexual activities, which has a lot to do with our upbringing, and social standards. It's hard to shed those things, and they stick with you throughout your life.
You need to know that, in the pursuit of your own sexual pleasure, that YOU are the one who gets to decide what is right for you, and what is not. If this was consentual, and you didn't feel right about it afterward, don't do it again.
What I don't understand is, if it was consentual, why do you not want your boyfriend to touch you sexually ever again? Did he pressure you to do this? If so, then you have some communicating to do. If not, then you need to do some introspection on why you would push him away sexually if he did nothing wrong. Dig into your past, what would make you have that sort of reaction? Shame is something that is usually put on us by either upbringing or society, that's probably a good place to start looking.
Either way, I hope that you find a way to be with your parnter again, if that is what you truly want. I wish you the best in your pursuit of pleasure!
Good luck,
Marissa
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Rating: 5
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Thank you for your well thought out, well-worded advice! I'm feeling a lot better about what happened.
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