I'm not here to tell you what to think or do, but to give you as much honest, accurate information as possible. If I don't know an answer to a specific question, I'll research it before replying. I won't sugarcoat things; my job is to tell it like it is.
I've got a particular interest in sexual health and sexuality. I know a lot about fertility and pregnancy - and firsthand now, as I've just had twins. I'm also an accredited sexual health worker.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Counsellor, writer, mother of twins.
Age: 31
Member Since: August 9, 2004
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Hi, I saw you answered a very similar question from the one I'm about to ask, but I guess I'll just go ahead and ask this anyways...
I'm 17 and bi,and I'm not ashamed of it or confused about it. My best friend knows, and she is more than accepting of it. I want to tell the other people I know and love, I just don't know how or when to bring it up, because I just know some people I know aren't going to be okay with it. I know this happens to everyone, and that it is something that has to happen for me to be who I am, and you've already answered the topic of friendship, so I'll go with my parents. Both my parents know gays and lesbians, and they seem pretty accepting of it. However, me being their daughter, they might have a problem with THAT. Plus,I'm sure they'd have difficulty understanding that someone could like both guys and girls. If I had a gf, I would just go right out and say it, but since I don't have any gf or bf, I don't know if I should wait or not. Because I have no idea what the future has in store for me and if I end up with a guy, is it worth it to bring it up right now? Won't it just make a whole big deal for nothing? I also hate the whole pre-fabricated jugements like: oh, you can't make up your mind, or it's just a phase because of your raging hormones. On another note, my little brother is 13, and I'm almost positive he'll accept me and be very cool about it, I just don't want to put so much burden on him as to: oh, don't tell mom and dad just yet. Anyways, I know this is very long and confusing, I just wanted some insight as to what my next move should be, because it's bad enough I'm not being entirely truthful to the people I trust most.
Thank you for your time!! (link)
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Coming out as bisexual when you aren't dating anyone sends a fairly strong statement - it means that you aren't just into a certain gender because of whoever you happen to be dating. And I'll say what I said to the person before, to be thinking seriously about telling your parents means you must have part of you that really wants to.
You're right, though, in saying it might be more confusing for parents to understand bisexuality than it would be to understand if you were plain ol' gay. But when are the most interesting, complex, and worthwhile things ever simple?
Your parents might need time to adjust to you being bisexual for several reasons. First, because you're their little girl and presumeably still living at home, they might not want to think of you as ANYTHING-sexual. Next, things are different if it's your own child. I've heard parents say that they are afraid for their child, that it's a phrase, etc etc.
If it took you some time to come to the realization that you're bi, and then some more time to accept it, understand that your parents will probably need this time, too.
If they know happy gay/bisexual people, then it works in your favour as it means they might not have some of the same disillusions about what it means to be not straight in today's world. It also helps if you feel crystal clear about your sexuality and confident with it, as you appear to be!
Telling your parents will be challenging, and it's best to think of times in the past when they've responded well to things you've said. Did you say it in a letter? In person? At a family meeting?
Did you talk to your parents together, or one at a time?
It's brilliant to know that however your parents initially feel, your brother will support you. And you've also got a best friend who cares for you - and your own inner resources.
Don't rush into anything. Focus on your reasons for wanting to tell them, the way you feel most comfortable telling them, and then go for it.
I wish you the very best of luck.
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