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Q: ok well ive liked this gurl ever since iv known her, 4th grade, and i used to try an make her laugh to like me, well now were older, im 13 adn so is she, so yah i mean at this age we have alot of emotions and dk about things, but we went out over the summer adn had our first kiss.. but she left me the next week for a guy she supposably 'loved' but now thinks is a fag, and well then after a while we both saw other people, my g/f broke up with me a few months ago, for total confusin, and the gurl ive known since 4th grade , just broke up wiht her b/f lets say a wekk or so ago i dk soon lol, wel before she broke up wiht her b/f she said she had feelings for me, and she couldnt choose who, and then she told me she had ben lying baout her b/f to me for months, and it was rele a kid from my class, but any way so i had thot i liked this other gurl, but then like i went over to hmm lets call her sarah(gurl since 4th grade)s house last night, we watched movies in her basment , and soon enough we wer makin out on her couch, like for what seemed like hours, and i truely love her so much, i rele care about her, shes my life(im not a stalker just care about her ok) and well today i talked to her, adn well she sais she just wants to be freinds wit benifets.... and i mean im ok wiht htat kissin her and stuff, but i rele rele want her, i want to go out wiht her , i want to be with her, but she sais that shes scared to go out with me, because shes scared she'l hurt me like she did in the summer , so i just said, oh ok yah thats cool, so now the gurl who i had a crush on before might ask me out , or somthn i dont know, but i dk what to do, 'sarah' sais if an opportunity comes for a g/f that i had to promise to go for it, because she thinks that i need somone better for me, but i cant, i wont , no1 is better for me, i mean we have so much chemistry, and were closer than anyone ive ever ben wiht , no lie, we are like so close we know we care about eachother even as freinds, but i know what i want, and i think that she might be scared , scared of hurting me, scared of gettin close, to close to fal in love wit somone, so yah, i mean, idk im just gonna wait, theres nothin i can do, so thats y i came here
-waht can i do to show her not to be affraid but to take a chance, shes different than she was in the summer, and to take a chance and be able to be happy, because i know shes not, she knows shes not, but i thinnk she was happy last night , ..so was i... wel i rele love her, adn i wanna know some tips on what to do to go overboard for her and i need somthin to get her, to make her need me like i need her, ill rate huge for even an answer at all!
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I apologize for any harshness you percieve:
I'm going to tell you something. You are the back-up guy.
The guy who is a friend, who is like a boyfriend, just without most benefits. She's taking this a step further with the Friends With Benefits thing. But in all honesty, you're the guy she runs to when she's been hurt by other guys.
Maybe she is really just scared. But most people would want to take a risk, just to make themselves happy. She dated all those other guys... so why not you?
I'm not saying this couldn't turn into a relationship, if you wanted to wait it out. Refuse to be in a friends with benefits relationship with her. Tell her you want more than that. If she still insists on being friends.. there's not much you can do.
Don't press the issue of being in a relationship. Try to do something sweet every once in a while, just when she really needs a lift. Don't get into a relationship with her, unless it's the relationship you want.
So what I'm getting from all of this is that she's not dating you because she's afraid she'll hurt you again. Which means she's not sure about how (or how strongly) she feels for you.
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i rated u a 5 for tellin it how it is, unlike most advice givers who tel u what u want to hear
thanks bye
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bio
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Love hurts. That's why I'm here to explain to you exactly what your significant other (or hopefully significant other) means, truthfully and unfortunately painfully.
In other words, I'm not going to tell you what you want to hear, unless I really believe it could happen.
If you don't believe me, well, I can give you proof. My way of thinking worked for me and my wonderful boyfriend of three years (I love you Matt!)
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Info
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Gender: Female Location: Maine Occupation: Waitress Age: 16 AIM: Member Since: August 7, 2005 Answers: 40 Last Update: January 2, 2006 Visitors: 4250
Main Categories:
Favorite Columnists
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