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15/sophmore/female.
I have been with my boyfriend since feb. 2nd 2004. yes, 2004, not a typo. He has always gotten, uneasy (i guess thats the word) when i talk to or hang out with other guys. Me and my boyfriend go to different schools. Well I talk to this guy from my summer job, and he is 21, and in college. My boyfriend is 17, and i am 15. And my boyfriend is on drumline, and so I am so used to him not getting home until 6:00. I get home around 3:30. well, he doesnt have drumline anymore, so he was home today. and i didnt call him. so when I did, he didnt sounded, not mad, but upset, i cant describe it. and he asked if i was online, and i said yes. and then he asked if i was "talking to that twenty year old " and i said yes, and i was talking to Elise too. And he said "I'll call you later" and i asked why. and then i cant remeber the rest, it was really short, and then he hung up. and didnt say bye. so i called back, no answer. i called his cell, no answer, so i texted him saying that im sorry and that he cant get mad at me for talking with my friends and that i love him (being my boyfriend) in a way that i could never love anyone else.
My boyfriend and i do have silly fights alot. but this one is stupid, i mean, this guy is 6years older than me. I would never date him. He is a good friend,sorta like a brother to me.
did i do anything wrong?
My boyfriend and i just got over the whole "cant hug the opposite sex" thing. he used to get upset when i did that. keep that in mind.
What should I do? What should i say? should i call my boyfriend? text him?
any advice is welcome.
if you need more info, just ask for it. thank you.
-Kelsey- (link)
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You have a territorial boyfriend, that's all there is to it. I'm this same way, so I think I can tell you that it's gonna be really difficult for him to stop being jealous, but he should be able to supress it enough that it's not a problem in the relationship.
It doesn't matter if you consider him like your brother, that doesn't remove him from being a threat to your boyfriend. Your boyfriend probably knows that he's been friends with a girl before who considered him to be 'like her brother', but he liked her anyway. He just sees it as you two are really close and that makes him a problem.
What this really comes down to is if he can trust you. If he can't trust you, he's never going to be able to handle you having guy friends or even being around other guys when he's not there. If he can trust you though, then he should be able to let you go off and do your own thing, even if you're going to be around that guy, and not worry much.
You did not do a single thing wrong. You should be allowed to have close guy friends, you should be allowed to hug guys, you should be allowed to talk to guys. If he's jealous about that, then he just needs to tough it out.
About what you can do about it, there's not too terribly much. Just stress to him how much he means to you, that you're more attracted to him and you enjoy his company more than any other guys. You just have to make him realize that you would never cheat on him or leave him for some other guy. You just need to talk to him, tell him how you really feel, get him to tell you how he really feels, and the two of you work it out together.
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Rating: 5
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thank you for your time, and your answer.
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