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ok, i am an 18 year old female and my boyfreind is 22 years old. we live a ways apart (him new york me ohio) because i was forced to move. well, we have been living apart for about a month and a half and we can't take it anymore. but we can't decide wether we should have me move up there with him or have him move down here with me. at first we had sorta planned me going and living with him. but then my mom found out that she might have a tumor on her ovaries, tubes, or liver. She doesnt want me to leave because she needs me and my brother will too. (in situations where there is trouble, my brother looks up to me, if im doing ok he will be fine and he knows that). So my mom asked me to ask him to move here so that we coudl both support her and each other. (my mom likes him) but then i owuld be asking him to uproot his life. from the place he lived for 20 years. from his family and his freinds and everything he knows. so i asked him if he would be WILLING to do so. He told me "Whatever i have to do to be with you". But now i feel like i am being selfish in asking him to do that. did i do the right thing in asking him to move here? please help i will rate all good answers as 5's. any smartass comments dont get rated!

Asking him to come live with YOU, in these circumstances - is not unfair at all. And if he had a problem with it, he would tell you - I'm sure. Set it up so maybe once your mom is fine and healthy again that you can move back to New York with him. Tell him that its probably not a permanent move, and you'd like to go back to NY in the future (if you want to, that is). You're NOT being selfish by asking him to move in with you. You being selfish would be telling your mom "No - I'll go live with him... BYE!" You've made the mature, right, non-selfish decision. Hope I've helped.

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(Rating: 5) thank you. i never thought if it that way!
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