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whenever im home alone, or even at school with other people, i constantly act as if im being watched. if that makes sense. and at night while im laying in bed i pretend as if im somewhere else and that im not mearly a student, but that im a secret agent hiding out for the night, or that ive been evacuated from the state because i know too much and im in the white house. im 18 years old..wtf is wrong with me? what do i do?(female) (link)
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Send me a bigger note about this. This sounds like you are in hypomanic state but if not put on the right medication and diagnosed properly you might find it escalating into BiPolar.
How should I know? I was there with the same secret agent/white house delusions, feeling more important than anyone else, being super gifted and then drifting back to reality. I was hype manic first which is not dangerous until delusion consumes all of you.
This is common and you are not insane but look to be suffering from a mental illness. It's alright, 1000s of people have it if this is what you have (which it sounds a lot like) including famous people and it is the precursor for brilliance. Unfortunately, a few assholes in society cause us grief but you will be okay.
Because this is a serious problem you need to see the emergency team at your local hospital and tell them what you are THINKING number one, SEEING, FEELING etc. If your speech sudennly gets very rapid and thoughts do and you feel high march your ass over there pronto--you have to be checked out anyways.
I hate to scare you and do NOT because this is fucking dangerous to you NOT TO GO to the emergency room but you may wind up spending a few weeks in the hospital. Do not fret, all it means is they want to make sure you are no longer delusional and cannot get hurt or hurt yourself by not being in full control.
What likely will happen here is what happened to me. They will put you on a lithium program, give you an anti-psychotic like Serequel and a mood stabilizer like lamitcal. You have to notice if moods are shifting up and down too and if you feel weepy they need that info up front.
I CANNOT MAKE A DIAGNOSIS. I am NOT a doctor but judging from my own experiences I KNOW YOU ARE NOT WELL AND NEED HELP and 2 SOUND CLASSIC HYPOMANIC HEADED FOR BIPOLAR EPISODE. GET HELP FAST.
I am here if you need info on this disease. I have been there and felt the same things you did. As long as you can see them now as a BIG problem and delusions waivering back and forth you can ward off a major issue but getting treatment. Do not waste any time in going to the ER. If you do it will get worse and mean being hospitalized if it's BiPolar which it looks to be.
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