Just your average nice girl next door. Married the love of my life at 24, widowed at 29.
I love cats and sailing and get to the beach as often as I can.
Gender: Female
Age: 39
Member Since: January 7, 2005
Answers: 298
Last Update: July 17, 2006
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i need help. okay, i've been with my boyfriend for a while now, but there's a small little problem that i'm having in our relationship. i love him to death and i know that he feels the same way, but when he talks to other girls.. i often get jealous and feel as if he's going to leave me for this girl even though i know they are just friends, i feel like maybe he sees something more in the girls he talks too. i feel this way because in the past, every guy i was with.. left me for another girl or was seeing another girl behind my back. i just got used to it & so now everytime i get into a new realtionship, i feel as if the same thing is going to happen even though i know all guys aren't the same, it's just something that sort of stuck in my mind. i expect guys to leave me.. i guess it's so i won't get hurt like i did in the past. i've talked with my boyfriend about this and he understands why i feel like this because of past experiences but he always reassures me that there is nothing going on because he doesn't want any other girl in this world besides me & that he loves me more than i could imagine. i mean, we've even talked about spending the rest of our lives together. i don't always have this problem when i'm with him.. but then there are times when i do. i hate it a lot because i really don't wanna feel this way, i TRY to tell myself "hes not gonna leave you" and it works half the time but then other time it doesnt and i get really upset. just so you know, i do BELIVE that he loves me, i don't doubt that.. it's just i really don't know how to explain it. maybe someone knows where i'm coming from. the point is, is there anyway i can convince myself that he's not going to leave me? is there anything at all i can do? or am i gonna be stuck feeling like this for the rest of my life because of what has happened to me in the past? (link)
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Whatever you do, don't show that you're jealous and don't say it either. Guys don't want to be with girls that freak out over everything and need to be constantly reassured. If you come off as independent and confident, he's going to like you more! If it comes to a chick that's really hitting on him (and other girls KNOW this stuff immediately) continue to keep a big confident smile on your face in front of her, then in private only tell him, that it made you uncomfortable. Say it clearly when you have his attention, but only say it once. That's another thing guys hate - girls that harp on a subject endlessly. I know at 16 I totally loved my bf and wanted to be with him forever, but know that this guy is not the "one" forever and ever... even though this time of your life and this guy are your whole world right now... there is SO much more beyond 16. Good luck.. Be confident because at least for right now he IS yours.
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