Q: Alright, so like I like this girl, she knows it, she's not sure if she likes me. She showed me her webpage today, and one of the comments says that she had her first kiss. I don't know what to say about that. Like just a few weeks, a month and a half at most, ago. She said her current relationship is almost over, but... I don't know. Honestly. I kept reading the page, and it turns out she had had like 3 boyfriends in the last three or four months. But I don't think they really LOVED her. I absolutely positively love her and I know that she's the one for me. Judging by how she broke up with the others, it looks like they didn't really love her, they were just the guys who look for "is she hot" and all. Like one person said he didn't like it when she acted all weird. Yeah, she's spassy, but I don't give a damn, I love her just the same! I told her that, but hey. We're 13. I don't know if she believes it, or knows what true love is considering the others. But she may love me. I recently asked her to a carnival as *cough* friends, and she didn't say "ok" or "sure" or "yes". She said "I'd love to!" which made me feel that it was right. I don't know why. I just did.
I really don't want her to have others. I want to be the only one. She has no idea how much I love her, it's more than anyone could possibly love anyone else. But she's already had a first kiss... so I don't know... it was someone who she's known her whole life, whereas we only met a year ago, so she may choose him over me. I really don't want anyone else to have her... really....
And then I commented on one of the people who she talked about breaking up with on her web page. I said that he was annoying, but not in those words, if you catch my drift. About two minutes passed. She logged off of AIM. I thought to myself, "Jeez. At least say goodbye." But then I realized that it would have been the perfect time to ask her out, just after dissing her ex (she has exes =( judging by the other stories I've read, the exes will come back to her, I just know it!!!) and so I think she was waiting for me to ask her out, but then thought that I was to shallow for that or something since it took so long. Jeez, I wrote the girl a song, even though I suck at songwriting, I can't be shallow! So now I'm worrying about are our chances over, could she be with the person she kissed, what if her exes come back, maybe she doesn't like me in the first place, what if she's making a hard decision and is going to choose the person who's not me, what if one day we kiss and it's not her first but it is hers, and so now I'm spassing and worrying and I just really want to have her! Sorry it's so insanely long... I'm just going through a hard time.
