about

Hi. I am a 31 year old life coach and professional writer and the mother of a beautiful 6 year old little boy. I believe in the kids and teens out there today and I want to be of service in any way I can. I know what it's like to be young and not want to talk to parents about problems. I specialize in relationships of all kinds and parenting. I also am very well versed in health and beauty. I will always respond with sincerity and to the best of my ability. I will always be honest, even if that means I may tell you something you don't want to hear but need to. I am all about inspiring the best from people I come in contact with so that's the approach I take with everyone.

advice

I am in love with this guy. We'll call him Zach. And I like this guy. We'll call him Elijah. Zach's in love with this girl. We'll call her Alli. Alli's in love with this guy and is in a lasting relationship with this guy. We'll call him Joe. Okay, now the problem is Alli has no feelings for Zach and she's told him so. Zach is still hanging on because it is so hard for him to let go. But he knows he has to. And he's told me that when he isn't thinking of her he's thinking of me. I am that girl that he will fall back on and I'm okay with that. But while I'm waiting for him to get over her Elijah really likes me. He wants to be the guy to make me smile. And the more time he spends with girls the more he thinks of me. I like him, but I love Zach. Elijah told me that he will wait as long as he has to but he will not wait if it will jeopardize his well-being. I don't want to lose him, but I don't want to lose Zach more. Zach tells me but he would be okay if I went with Elijah. But the problem is that if I get too deep in with Elijah and Zach decides he wants to be with me it will only make it harder to turn Elijah away. What do I do? I will rate all answers.

I read your feedback - and I just have to say that if you are not the most important person in your world - who is? It has to be you - love doesn't mean that you put other people in front of your needs. I hear what you are saying - but what I'm saying is not to close yourself off - by far - just don't sit and wait for him. I know it feels very kind and loving to do so - and feels kinda humanitarian to be the one person who understands him and is willing to wait for him...etc..but really it's not. I was there. I am 31 now and have had my share. I just don't want you to sell yourself short. You don't have to be closed off - just put yourself first. Love is not you giving 100% of yourself and waiting for him while he gives much much less than 100%. Love is giving and understanding - from both directions. Being good to you has to come first because - like the old wore out, but very true saying goes - you can't give what you don't have. It's true. Good luck. If nothing else, you will come out of this stronger - no matter the decision. After I came out of the situation over 15 years ago I learned so much. There really is no substitute teacher for life experience.




Babygirl - DO NOT waste your precious time waiting on a guy that has you second on his list! If you like the other guy - go for it - if the other one misses out - his loss. Never wait on a guy - to get over someone. That is like dating a married man that won't leave his wife but keeps promising someday - that is for the birds honey! I can tell you that he doesn't like you that much if he's telling you that it's okay for you to go out with the other guy. And it's fine to say that you are okay with being the rebound girl - but those things never last because they didn't really want to be with you to begin with... I mean for your own good and peace of mind let this Zach guy go!!! You sound like you are really ready to put your whole life on hold if he wants to be with you - you are giving him WAY TOO MUCH POWER. Pull your power back and don't wait on anyone!!! He will walk all over you if he ever does get with you - for the simple reason that he knows you are just waiting for him - won't date anyone - waiting for him - blah blah blah... That just screams I will do anything for you even if it's not good for me - because waiting on the sidelines is not good for you.

I don't mean to be harsh, I just hate to hear women giving up their power to guys that are not even worth it! Make him work for it girl! Don't just sit up waiting and hoping.... that is for suckas and I know you are not that! If he doesn't recognize what a good catch you are - he's lame - not you!!!

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(Rating: 5) I used to be just like that. I would never let a guy in. Then I fell in love and realized that I'm not the most important person in my life, so I know where you are coming from. And I will not make bad decisions but I'm just not ready to walk away from hope and regret it for the rest of my life. I really do know what you are saying and I will take some of it to heart but I just thought I'd let you know a little more how I felt. And I know exactly how he feels about me because that's how I feel with Elijah. And Zach promised he'd never try to hurt me and I trust him sadly. But I know no matter what happens that I will have at least given it a shot. I may get the shit get kicked out of me, but I will bounce back.
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