about

Hi. I'm IceAngel13, though you can call me Megan (my name) if you want. I like to make graphics like my picture. I write stories, poetry and lyrics and I love music, and love to sing. I love to give advice and I think I'm pretty good about it. I try to be as nice as I can when giving advice and try not to judge people. Feel free to ask me about anything, including relationships. :)

advice

This poem. Needs help. it didn't come out right. Suggestions?
I saw you tonight
For the first time in what had felt like years
Sweat dripped off your body
And I realized what I had lost
I had loved
And you had pitied
But you had forgotten
What I could not
With you standing so close
It drove me crazy
I miss you I cried
But I don’t miss your lies
I wont forget you
Even if you’ve already forgotten me
Don’t pity me
I’m fine.

"Sweat dripped off your body" doesn't seem to fit. If you took that out, (and make a few mionr changes)it would be:
I saw you tonight
For the first time
In what had felt like years
I realized what I had lost
I had loved
And you had pitied
But you had forgotten
What I could not
With you standing so close
It drove me crazy
I miss you I cried
But I don’t miss your lies
I wont forget you
Even if you’ve already forgotten me
Don’t pity me
I’m fine.
Other then that minor detal, I thought it was a great poem. I feel kinda weird about changing someone elses poem, though, but that's just my opinion. I thought it was a beutiful poem. Keep up the great work.
~IceAngel13

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(Rating: 5) no no ur right. that doesn't fit at all. thanks
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