About two or three months ago i went to a youth councelor to figure out why i had no friends, was lonely,depressed,angry and sometimes suicidal. They told me that it is because i worry too much about what people think about me and it causes me to have like an anxiety and stuff which made me lack the normal skills a person has for like comunicating with others which causes this friendless life. I was given three choices ither go on medication which i would never do, go to an organised activity with social workers and they would work with you and show you how to communicate and what not, and the other one was somewhat the same thing. Nither of the choices i had fit me well, so i decided to improve on it myself by not worrying about what people thought about me and talk to people and try to make plans to do something, and no matter how hard i try or what i do to try and improve nothing is working. All i want is to enjoy life in high school and have fun, i hate always thinking how my days sucked, my birthday is in 2 days and i wont get one happy bday at school, or have someone make me a card or anything like friends do at school so like i dont know just too much is running through my head and im getting ideas again and i just want to know how i can improve more or what to do....
Yours Truly:
Friendless
What your counselor may have missed is the simple fact that you are trying. In fact, you are probably trying to hard to make friends. On a subconcious level you reak of desperation. If you are really worth being friends with then why has no one else accepted you to a point where you are desperate to find acceptance? ...or so goes the thoughts of others anyway.
The best thing is to give up. What I mean to say, is give up on TRYING to make friends. Join 2 or 3 after school activities and every time you think about trying to be friendly to someone, just take a breath, step back for a second, and think about what you are really doing. Sure you want to make introductions to new people that you meet, but don't overdo it. Don't smother these potential friends with your presence. Also, compliment people, but not too strongly and not too frequently. Most of all, just keep showing up to these activities and keeping quiet if need be until these people get more used to your presence and accept you at least as a member of the group. From there you can invite them to hang out or they may even invite you themselves.
Never try to buy friends with stuff, be it candy or anything else. Just try not to seem so desperate, that's probably the biggest thing holding you back. You'll do fine once you get the hang of it. Remember, better to seem shy than be known as overbearing.
Happy birthday!
In fact, come to think of it. Definitely drop me a line, I am always looking for new friends!
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Thanks, i didnt really look at it that way but i guess it is true.
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