Website:
LindascounselE-mail:
Lindascounsel@yahoo.comGender:
FemaleLocation:
North CarolinaMember Since:
March 14, 2005Answers:
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March 6, 2012Visitors:
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Hi! I'm Linda. I would love to try to help you with advice about love and life. I can also try to help with Health: Mental issues in particular. However, you can ask me anything. I believe in the value of honesty and I will do my best to be ethical, fair and genuine. xoxoxoxo
advice
Over the past few weeks my boyfriend has seemed [for lack of better words] wilted. He isn't happy, around me that is. He just came over so we could study for a test, and he was TOTALLY uniterested in me.. like over and over I asked him if I was that uninteresting, and if I was that unatractive and he said no to both, but that didn't change his mood.. I'm getting mixed singals here. Yes I have talked to him about this but what else can I do?
Dear interest,
So, what are the mixed signals? I'm only seeing the negative ones. Okay, here's the deal. He's fading fast.... you need some damage control. If he is losing interest, which it sounds like he is, you can get him back into the fold if that's what you want. However, it will take a bit of self-control on your part. You say that he doesn't seem happy around you, but you don't say how he acts around others. If his problem really is you, you need to withdraw a little bit. Stop asking him if he thinks you are uninteresting. Stop asking him if he thinks you are unattractive. That is making you look very insecure and it is giving him all the power in the relationship. Do not focus on yourself. Reel it in a little. Take back a little of that power. Put the focus on him. Not about feelings. (we'll get to that part in a minute) Get him to talk about himself. Get him to relate to you about his day. About his classes. His friends. Anything to take the focus off you. People need to feel as if they are interesting and attractive. Don't you? Well, make him feel as if HE is, but not by telling him. Let HIM tell YOU. He will come to depend on the feeling that he gets about HIMSELF when he's with you. After a few weeks of this, don't be surprised if he's telling you how much he cares about you, what a hottie you are and how interesting you are. Good luck!
Linda
(Rating: 5) That's really really reallly helpful.. thanks alot.. no really thanks..